Part 12: You Can't Please Anyone
Thursday, April 12, 2012
The [D] Project: Pot Calling Kettle Black (pt. 7 of 13)
Once upon a time in 2011, I allowed a girl live with me in my room for what was supposed to be a few days. The plan was she crashed with me till she got her own apartment. Her name was [D], a chic that looked like sex from the south-south. Although things ended up like... I look back at that period to realise I learnt a lot. That period is known as The-[D]-Project.
I thought about the names [D]’s father called her and ALL had to do with promiscuity. I knew this girl looked like sex but she acted/talked otherwise. That made me question the reason the father would label his daughter, was there smoke without fire?. For one, [D] was fast to criticise girls who supposedly gave their bodies cheaply to men. She talked about how she would have owned cars and houses if she wanted to f*ck for money. I definitely won't doubt that she would have lots of customers, after all, I’ve seen men spend to fuck less attractive females. I got fed up with the way she kept praising herself, as if she was the only exception especially as I began to notice her actions were contradicting her words. Remember the first lesson: You Can Only Lie With Words.
[D] loved good things she couldn't afford. As much as she might claim humble, she loved the authentic T.M. Lewin shirt a relative got her. She loved my cash free lifestyle which she knew could get her a free breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Despite all these she continued to criticise girls.
[D] attached herself to a girl living on my street. The type of girl she was used to criticising. The girl had a guy visit her once, as they sat in his car [D] walked passed. The guy told the girl he liked [D] and would like to talk to her. The girl arranged that, minutes later [D] occupied the passenger seat in his car. Less than 2 minutes later the ‘meeting’ was over and the guy drove off. He called the girl after to complain of [D]’s attitude. [D] told him point blank that she was hungry and if he wanted to have a discussion he should drive her to a fast food joint for lunch. She also mentioned fixing her hair and a whole lot of bullshit that would make a correct Lagos boy drive a chic out of his car.
I considered all this and I believed [D] described her ideal self and not her real self. I made her know ALL girls were the same. It was the ones we were fortunate to know about their sex life/promiscuity we called "slut". She denied (as expected) and said she was different. “A girl with only one boyfriend cannot be promiscuous,” she said. “If a girl had a boyfriend, it was only time before she had sex with him”. According to her logic, a girl with 20 boyfriends would have slept with 20 guys and that made her a slut.
I rationalised that going into a relationship was like writing a test. You prepare for it and hope you pass. If you fail, you learn from the mistakes of the previous one and apply it on the next one. No one knows what can make a relationship work for all situations.
[D] ‘enlightened’ me with one of her philosophy on how to make a relationship work. Her philosophy suggested unprotected sex was the solution [sic]. She said girls sleep around because they do not enjoy sex with their boyfriends. The reason they do not enjoy it was because they use condom during sex BUT they don’t know it was the condom that reduced satisfaction. They think they didn’t enjoy it because the guy couldn’t perform and now look for another guy that hopefully could perform better. That was the cause of promiscuity. They get another guy and decide to use condom because they wanted safe sex not knowing they won’t enjoy the experience. The cycle continues. If the girl decide to stick to a guy she wouldn’t need to use condoms with, not only would she enjoy sex but the relationship as well.
You know me nau...I had to ask if that was true in her case. She said she didn't use condoms with Francis and that was why they enjoyed sex and there was no reason for her go to another man for sex. I was like, "Wow! I'm surprised you haven't gotten pregnant. Considering you guys have been having unprotected sex for years". I noticed she had a look in her eyes after I said that. A look that made me say, "So...you have gotten pregnant."
She admitted she got pregnant [just] once and had to abort it. She claimed she wanted to have the baby with the love of her life BUT her parents were against it especially her Mum. Her Mum was the first person she told of the pregnancy who told her dad and the devil had a short vacation on earth. I considered the names she said her father called her and had an idea where ‘promiscuous’ originated. If her father was right about other things he said, there was a lot this chic wasn’t saying.
What pissed me off was she tried to make it sound like she did the righteous thing. Like abortion was the only option she had. I had to clear her, "You never listened to your parents, pastor, and friends when they told you not to date this guy. It was you and Francis against the world. Why was it this one time when they told you what you wanted to hear you decided to go along?”
She replied it would have affected her education because it happened while she was still in the university but insisted it was her Mum that forced her to. Her mum introduced her to the abortionist. I use to believe mothers took their daughters to the markets and salons but not to have an abortion.
There was nothing I said about the abortion that made sense to this babe. She was convinced the situation was out of her hands at that time and did the right thing. I regarded this babe as one of those ‘pot calling kettle black’ kind of chic. She insult girls for being promiscuous but those girls never aborted, even those that did admitted it was wrong. I am no angel but having unprotected sex with a boyfriend you knew was a perpetual cheat was plain stupid, to the point of getting pregnant for the broke guy. [D] was the worst type of individual, the ones that could justify any act [good/bad] and never did anything wrong
Part 11: REALLY, Time To Go
Part 12: You Can't Please Anyone