Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Proposals! Proposals!! Proposals!!!

The year is almost elapsed and I can bet a whole lot of females out there are disappointed. Disappointment from not walking down the isle in 2014. These set of females probably attended more wedding ceremony of friends t‎han a priest, and have racks of aso-ebi. Enough aso-ebi to start a boutique. "2015 will not be the same", they say.

The females with strong conviction are a step ahead this December by getting the boyfriend to propose. Does the proposal really mean anything? A guy proposed to his girlfriend cause she threatened to leave, so he "gave" her the ring with the plan to marry 2016. ‎A friend got married recently after almost 2 year-engagement. The wedding was more like a shotgun ceremony 'cause she was tired of the wait.

I wish everyone the best, especially those who asked the question this month. As long as you know the reason you want to get married and why that person, you will have a "satisfied" marriage.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

How You Cheat?

‎To cheat is to accept a fact that woman/man is insatiable and this act is the main proof of that fact in any relationship. What we want in relationships are basic- probably good looks, good sex, comfort. They are so basic that when satisfied we see the scars in the good looks, the monotony is the sex, and the comfort comes with [heart]ache.

There is a role everyone [un]consciously play in relationships which is to be on the lookout for cues our partner is unfaithful- how they cheat. There was a guy who memorised every item the girlfriend owned. He also knew the number of panties she owned and their colours. What a talent! He was so observant and the motivation was to determine if the girlfriend cheated. Each time he noticed a new item with her he questioned the source, suspecting it was from another guy.

Others with less mental ability to memorise prefer to ask questions...all the time. They act like Customer Care rep in the relationship. They question every act: it could be as worse as a silly question on why the partner spent 5 minutes 10 seconds in the bathroom instead of the average 4 minutes 50 seconds they were used to. A girl once told me she got to her boyfriend's place and rushed to the bathroom. Her boyfriend's questioned, "what are you washing off? Where were you?"

I dated a few girls that cheat and because I am the type of person who doesn't act on the spot. I was able to observe their behaviour prior to the confrontation. That was how I noticed a pattern on how [you] cheat. The [YOU] is every girl who cheated on me.

I noticed [you] cheat when you became incredibly forgiving. There were things I did that usually piss her off that didn't seem to move her anymore. That was how I discovered she was getting the D outside. In her mind, she was settling scores with her "forgiveness".

Once a girl begin to get the D outside, it becomes a bit easier to know how [you] cheat. I had a girlfriend that suddenly came up with karmasutra like styles. It started from the kiss, she did new things I knew she had a practical exercise. It was excitingly different. The same girl that preferred missionary style surprised me with a super reverse cowgirl. Few days of keen observation, I found out the guy she had been sleeping with.

I noticed [you] cheat when you call to know where I was and after my response you either say "I'm about to sleep" or "I'm about to visit a family member" living at my opposite direction.

One request, what are the signs that easily give away your cheating partner?

Thursday, November 6, 2014

I'm Back!!!

‎Please don't tell anyone, I'm back to Story of the Year and I have a whole lot of story for the gods. In all honesty, I needed the break because I was saturated and needed to live more. 

When I retrospect from my first post to now, things have changed. From 2010, as I was about to graduate from the University of Lagos, to November 2014 a whole have happened.

I got a well paid job and became a millionaire (in Naira and probably in few countries in Africa). I'm also tilting to the other "side" in relationships when the babe chase the guy. After all, I'm richer than most of their parents.

So the experiences I will share in the next posts should be great (if I pen it well). I am going to end this one here, the girl that is about to suck my d¡ck just stepped in.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Black Wedding Dress

The first mistake anyone can make is an attempt to make everyone happy. Yes, it is only an attempt because it can NEVER happen. Hey, if Jesus Christ could be persecuted, who are you?

All things being equal, shouldn't it be easy to please everyone because the norms have been established. We basically know what the society expect from us, so why is it too difficult to make everyone satisfied with us? People get socialized on how best to talk, act- based on the situation, and we also have the 10 commandments. But even those that adhere to everything might be labeled "hypocrite" or "pretentious" to use a lighter word.

It is established, you can't please everyone...why not do what you want, what makes you happy yet a better person, and damn the norm that states your social limitation...even if it means you rock a black wedding dress.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

When Jesus Say Yes

Facebook post.

A quick one, "Say Yes" by Michelle Williams might be her biggest solo hit yet. +1.5millon Youtube views in <72hours is more than the total views of her previous solo videos.

I like the track, maybe because the chorus was lifted from one of Nigeria's favourite gospel song. Regardless, it was beautiful and all the 'Children came with her style. I mean, even Beyonce rocked a bum short in the video.

The song was produces by Samuel Hamony, a British with Nigerian parents. That might explain the song's source of inspiration. Samuel also produced "Kele Kele Love" and "Love Me (x3)" for Aunty Tiwa Savage.

So...who is the original composer of "When Jesus Say Yes!" with publishing deal? Time to make money.

Friday, June 20, 2014


I understand certain religions identified pre-marital sex as a sin. However, I do not identify is as evil. Evil in this context is the intention to cause harm to another party, also, the harm done can be regarded as evil. I do not label two consenting adults who engage in premarital sex as evil because I cannot identify any harm done.

What I do understand is whatever is [not] permitted sexually between unmarried couples also goes for married couples. Three of them will be mentioned.

First, If you are in a relationship with someone, married/unmarried, you cannot sleep around and expect your partner to pat you in the back- it is called cheating.

Second, the consequence and responsibilities are equal as far as sex is concerned. If the female gets pregnant, the marriage status is not an excuse to avoid responsibility. If the "man" was naturally irresponsible it will be evident regardless. Also, the spread of STDs and STIs is not exclusive to unmarried or married couples. Married couples are even worst hit because you cannot negotiate condom use in your matrimonial bed.

Third, if the girlfriend or wife was not interested in having sex and the "man" decide to force his way- that is rape. Wedding ring is not immunity to that crime.

So why is premarital sex preached to youths as if the end of it will ultimately make the world a better place [maybe].

I do understand every sin has its orgin, what is the origin of fornication that made it a sin?

Sunday, May 18, 2014


Remembering what I should be doing instead of the financial institution I slave...

Friday, May 16, 2014

My Prayer for You Today...

My Prayer for you today is not to collapse at the edge of the finish line. The disappointment of putting all in a task and fail to accomplish in  the end sucks. Makes one feel why bother start. With that said, you know what to

Monday, May 12, 2014

Death Does NOT Care About Your Dreams

Everyone have dreams. The misconception humans have with theirs was it had to come to past before death knocks. Well, death does not care about anyone's dream. Unless the dream was to die someday [doesn't guarantee to know when it strikes].

Deaths is an inevitable occurrence humans deny, unless the world was a movie where only the bad guy dies. Even in Games of Thrones anyone dies regardless of the dreams/plans they had.
With that said, live a bit more today. Express yourself to family and friends and remember this quote from Drake "everybody dies but not everybody lives".

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Strength to Move On

Feeling a bit lost, careless, and irrational. I arrived at that conclusion based on events in April. Things happened that I am not proud of but have to live with it (do I even have a choice?). All I need now- is the strength to move on.

Friday, April 4, 2014

As Fast As Wikipedia...Vybz Kartel

You know what, I have to honour Wikipedia for fast updates. It's like there are people with fingers on their keyboard, waiting to update an article and press ENTER within the second.

I remember when the rapper Proof died, guess where I confirmed the news, Wikipedia. The date he died was included...with no delay.

So now, I heard Vybz Kartel was sentenced to 35 to life and guess the latest update on his Wikipedia page...

Quite funny though, Years active 2000 to 2014.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

What's up?

Lately, I've had lots of experiences...so many I haven't had the time to pen 'em. I have to give credit to my workload on the job- there's so much to do one might be tempted to pray for few more hours during daytime.

Right now, I'm on the toilet bowl pretending to do "number two" while I do the one thing I love. Mehn...so needed the timeout.

But is this what life is. I learnt a quote from The Bee Movie, you've all your life (in school) to the point where you work for the rest of your life. Ouch!
Is this the point I should start to think of marriage? Yea, right.
Go to get back to work, shit! No network

Friday, March 7, 2014

Too Early for Regret

2013 feels like a year ago...at least I've lived in 2014 enough to stop writing 2013 anytime I write the date. It's March, and already some emotions left in 2013 tryin' to come in. Makin' me question why I left them behind- they hurt, that's why.

Wish she could come back though but it's too early for regrets.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Working for the Wo/Man

Nothing beats being your own boss- to be independent- and calling the shots. I believe a significant percent of the population strive for that regardless if they got a BSc. certificate or the only certificate that had was issued at birth. It was part of including our finances, work terms and conditions within our circle of influence. Well, before a lot of people get independent we have to kiss someone's ass.

So what's my experience like working for the man? Is there any point to emphasize how much it sucks because we know that isn't new. So I'll share an experience, you won't be far from the truth if referred to it as a typical day.

It was a Friday and the event that changed the course of that day occurred at 5:45pm. Can you believe that shit? Fifteen minutes before I walked out of that building and…TGIF. Shit!
Earlier in the day, that should be about 10am. A manager gave an instruction to a colleague, N330million will be transferred from a customer's account, but she had to get the required approval to make such transaction.
Hours later, she had the required approval. It was communicated to her via mail. She forwarded the mail to the colleague with me in copy to proceed with the transfer. By that time, I was the only one on the platform so I'll assume the colleague did not see the mail, right? About 30 minutes later the manager sent another email but this time it was directed at me to treat the transaction.

All I had to do was to populate an excel template and forward it to the appropriate department to treat…and I did. At 5:35pm, I received an email from the manager. It read she would come over to pick up evidence the transaction had been treated. Apparently, she had a meeting scheduled with the customer at 6:00pm. The customer was a typical high net worth individual- proud and believed could get anyone sacked by a text to the Managing Director. Sadly, it was true. He complained of service failure earlier that week and my unit head got a query to respond to. Everyone was on their toes to give him all in wanted that week.

I was about to print out the customer's account statement when the manager walked in. She stood beside and as I was about to press "Print" she asked, "Why is Thirty Million still in the account?"
I was lost. Apparently, N300million was transferred instead of N330million. Another service failure. That was how the rain of insults started. The name calling wasn't new but that did not make it acceptable. "Idiot" "irresponsible" "useless" and the usual "It seems you don't like your job" plus "a query to justify blah blah blah…and would go on suspension". She said a whole lot that meant I should kiss the job goodbye not to mention promotion. She emphasised it was a simple task…type N330million.

I sat there. I wasn't moved by the insults but confused how I made such mistake. I clicked on my sent items and opened the mail I sent for that transaction, it was N330million. Colleagues on the platform gathered behind me and confirmed it was N330million. The manager did not believe. I told her I copied the entire team in the mail. She decided to confirm from the inbox of a colleague I copied in the mail when I sent it in the afternoon. He opened it- it was N330million I requested transferred.

Maybe it is pride, guild, or bullshit, this manager showed no sign of remorse. Instead, the insult questioned how I did not notice it. Like that made any sense. She spent about 7 seconds and walked out of the building, no apology.
After all the insults labelled to my name in the presence of colleagues who decided to keep shut during the drama, one of 'em opened his mouth and said "get it sorted". I checked the bridge of his nose if there was trace of coke. If I had a low self-esteem I would probably take the rest of what was left over the Third Mainland Bridge and this guy talked about work.
What did I do? I picked up my phone and went home. The bullshit was more than enough for that day.
I think it's time to move on and do what I do best with most ease, write. Yea, the pay where I work is good but it doesn't compensate for the shit I go through. I asked myself, what if I had typed N300million, will that justify degrading a fellow human? The situation was also one that can be resolved but her reaction blew it out of proportion. It made one thing obvious, my job description, to 'em it was "a scapegoat". Everyone was under so much pressure and it was safer for them to pass it down to me. That way, if things go wrong I was to be blamed. I get blamed for issues that had nothing to do with me. That made it obvious no one got my back and it a financial environment, you don't want to be in such situation.
With Almighty God on my side, I am working towards my last day. It is time to move on from working for the Man.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

This is for 2014 by Adesina Ademola

This is for 2014 b

2013 just passed. Big fucking deal. 

NB: This is said with a hint of sarcasm and buckets of nonchalance.


Well, it’s for a number of reasons really.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am more than grateful that I have made it into the New Year. Actually, I probably have more to be thankful for than most people. But then again, I am rarely ever satisfied with anything. Call it the human condition, my human condition.

I have come away from 2013 with quite a few lessons and a few close shaves. I have been scared stiff (you’ll get the pun later) into thinking I was about to become a father at the tender age of 26 (don’t smirk; young men take that shit very seriously nowadays. The respective costs of Pampers/Huggies/Dr. Brown’s, Cerelac/SMA Gold put the fear of God into our respective wieners whenever we want to kpansh!). But then again, maybe when I am a rich and successful guy (God willing), some child will come and tell me that my indiscretions in Ipinle Omoluabi have come to haunt me. Watch this space!

I have learned that there really is no end to the capacity of the human animal (read as “being” for those of you with delicate sensibilities) to love as many people as possible all at once. Please do not read as promiscuity. It insults all promiscuous people.

I have learned that misery and despair can eat away at you. That it really is important to find the silver lining in all the clouds that cast your thoughts. You owe it to yourself!

I have failed at my (many) attempts to try and make everything I am involved in better. This one is actually very hilarious because while I am thinking “why can’t we try it like this because it would be so much better?” the other party is like ‘Give it a rest already you fucking know-it-all.” Come to think of it, it actually feels kind of pathetic because people will just be looking at you like “What is wrong with this one sef?”

Biggest lesson learned from 2013 - how not to be a horrible boss, shitty thinker, and incompetent leader. The amount of meaningless “strategy sessions”, half-assed decisions, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey activities that I have witnessed in Nigerian companies the past year alone has served the single purpose of helping me understand the need to listen to as many people as possible when making decisions that will affect more than just me. To be fair, a lot of the people I am aiming this one at have their hearts in the right place. But goddamit, your heads need to be calibrated a few notches above normal – that’s why you are expected to lead the company. But then again, maybe na me no just sabi life!

 Just read the last paragraph as “I’ve learned how not to be a horrible boss” and “I’ve learned how not to make earth-shattering stupid decisions, especially when the scenario involves more than me and my beautiful ego”.

And to the ass-kissing, apple-polishing shoe-shiners of the world (nothing against the shoe-shiner plying his trade in your hood, some of them are actually very nice guys), I’ve reinforced my life’s creed of not being one of your elite club. Yes, you will get ahead, nothing wrong with that. But please be rest assured, the word honor still means something to some of us. This may not make a lot of sense at the moment (even me sef dey doubt the sense behind this paragraph), but then again, not a lot of things in this world do. It’s just a thing of your world view.

NB2: The rest of what you are about to read might not make much sense, so I apologize in advance.

In a quick rundown, other things I’ve learned are:

1.       Detach your ego from work. It will hurt less that way.

2.       No need to get political. Leave that for people who don’t know their shit

3.       Be happy going for the best alone. The world will (hopefully) catch up later. And if they don’t, well, you might get fired for not being a team-player

4.       Be nice to others. But be a fucking drill sergeant from hell on yourself. You’ll thank yourself when you consistently deliver beyond everyone’s expectations.

5.       Enjoy poetry.

6.       Take walks by calm watersides (Bar beach doesn’t count). The spirit of calm can reach you there.

7.       Love.

I apologize for everything else that I have not written here. It is either my subconscious being selfish or I don’t know as much shit as I think I do. We’ll let the universe decide.

Have a blessed 2014.


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year 2014

I got this as a new year greeting...

Alas, faith has made us see the light of this day, we longed for it in anticipation, birds did sing, plants did grow, all did banish moan, all to usher in this era, which would deal indelible marks on the eons of time, the inexorable time, the devouring time,that burnt the fierce tiger's jaws, burnt the phoenix in her blood,yet our deeds of valor has dared time, the dews of this day has ushered in the dawn of our prime,the beginning of a new Era, when everything becomes new.New life, new song, new love and new joy.Happy New year.πŸŒΊπŸŒΉπŸ“πŸŽ„πŸ‘»