Saturday, November 28, 2015
CAUSE YOU CAN
4k the title, this isn't a motivational piece but a piece of my mind on people who exploit others because they can by virtue of...life. The beauty of life is everyone has a unique role to play, and the ugly aspect of that script is that some people's role is to be a subordinate (or lesser in status) to another individual in order to achieve [balance]. Now imagine the other individual is a dick head. A dick head you have to work/date/interact with in order not to blow your job...or whatever. We can only hope that if we find ourselves in the later position, we do not get exploited. So we pray for a good boss or an understanding spouse. However, the person who is "superior" pray the status quo remain. Trust me, even your boss won't want you to be their boss. I try to assume why certain [wicked] people act the way they do and that takes me back to a thought I once discussed somewhere in this blog.
I learnt early in life two opposing reasons we do things. First, because we can and secondly because we need it. I learnt that from the random girls I met and that I saw an opportunity to smash. It kinda comes with a don feeling, meet a chic, chat her up, get her naked...orgasm. The cycle continued until a point I realized that I didn't need to smash every girl that presented herself, I only did it because I could. It was the innate craving of man to seize every opportunity and acquire everything, even those things not needed. That's why a millionaire wants to be billionaire while a billionaire wants to rule the world. The same insatiable feeling to become the President after years of being a Governor. It is also the same feeling to exploit an individual who had given you heart, body, and soul...because you can 'cause you definitely don't need it.
This takes me to @Sugarbelly ...
POWER OF CONTEXT
This lady once referred to me as ignorant on my own blog. PAUSE...
That sentence will no doubt create an opinion. It could be positive or negative opinion about her to just label an individual [like me] "ignorant". Fact is whatever your opinion is, it would be baseless until you understood the context she referred to me as ignorant. The importance of context is sooo powerful that we will NEVER understand ourselves and the people around us until we accept that fact.
An example I use to explain the importance to friends is the concept of personal space or proxemic rules. For instance, If you were to stand by the roadside and someone walks towards you. The person stands close to you shoulder-to-shoulder, you might be a bit uncomfortable and decide to take steps back BUT if you were to be inside a public bus with the same person standing so close, you might not even be aware of their presence. It is still the same act with only difference being context. Another instance a lady hears "let me examine your breast". She might resist if the person is a stranger [lawyer] than if the stranger is a doctor. That's why I do not attempt to "change" people. Instead, I attempt to change the environment [context] to the one that will make them do the things I want.
While environment is a strong factor in changing context, the strongest is abstract- our emotions. Either positive or negative, emotions make us do things we won't [normally] do. Things we can't explain with logic like why Romeo and Juliet commit suicide [silly teenagers].
I read opinions about @Sugarbelly's... narration of how a guy she once loved took advantage of her. I won't refer to it as confession because she always talked about it but the only difference was she finally decided to mention names. My own observation, especially with people who discredit her or attempt to shame her is that they applied logic and not explore the context to understand her view. Her narration was probably read as "50 Shades of Audu".
I remember one of my friends back in school. The guy was a ladies man and had a naive chic all over him...The girl was down and ready to do whatever he wanted. He even smashed her once while we were in the same room...and this was supposed to be his girlfriend. So I am quite familiar with girls having a "I have to satisfy my guy mentality" even when being exploited.
I will go with @Sugarbelly on this one and the reason is simple, her pain is just too real. I told a colleague at work she had been on this for years to fake it and even if she did she gets A for Effort. Plus, she tackles anyone who write stuffs that seems they took advantage of a female. So that's what earned me "ignorant".
With that said...
Any relationship that won't make you a better person is slave trade.
Posted by @adebsrk at 8:13 AM
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
"Begin with the end in mind". Isn't that one of the habits of highly effective people? To apply that habit in one's career goals might be a bit straight forward, but how does that apply in relationships…how do you determine what you want in a relationship with someone you just met? As [kids], the end might be to get to the 3rd base but as we get older, third base is usually the first base so that goal becomes baseless. Relationships become complex [please note that the only factor that makes relationships complex are excuses]. So relationships become filled with excuses. Excuses about why you love A and B but want to hook up with C. Excuses about why you cannot maintain a steady relationship. Excuses about why you want to break up. To make up excuses is one of the habits of highly ineffective people.
I do not make excuses in relationships [unnecessarily], then again I do not have a specific end in mind… [see last paragraph]. I am a guy that goes with the flow and if at any moment the girlfriend says, "We need to talk?" My response is like, "OK. Do you want to break up?..No wahala".
I am not a though guy, maybe a bit insensitive but I know a few things I want in a relationship. One of them is to date someone that has no significant doubt about dating me. There is no point attempting to convince a partner on why she should stay in a relationship when she wants out. She must have nursed the idea for weeks and had the courage/confidence to voice it. I wrote in a previous post that the day major decisions are made and they day they were taken are not the same. They might even be months apart. If from your previous relationships you never saw the breakup coming, that is a cogent reason to accept the breakup proposal.
I know single ladies who claim to have the end in mind before they jump into any relationship. The [potential] is assessed before they accept to be exclusive [or not] and the end to 'em is usually marriage. How sweet! The fault of my Nigeria ladies it the failure to understand that to have the end in mind is not the same as to begin with the end in mind. For instance, a tennis player might have a career goal to win Wimbledon, which is the easy part. To BEGIN with the end in mind would involve the training sessions and all those exhaustive practice to win Wimbledon. But my Nigeria ladies prefer to only have the end in mind, and then they sit it out. If they are lucky to get a husband they begin to eat it out. I met a chic once who was all prophetic about her [yet to exist] future husband. She had rehearsed the wedding in her mind which exposed her wild imagination. She also provided insight about what her family life would be like. My response was, "You actually think you deserve such with your current lifestyle".
I do not have a specific end in mind that I apply in all relationships. That is because I recognise that individuals are unique and each make me crave for things based on their personality. I meet certain girls and the end is sex, just friends, or business associate. Yet to meet a chic whose personality will make me think of marriage. They talk about it but can't act it and I am a good judge of character.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Everyday you are going to meet people, men that you might not be certain of their intention apart from what they say...
As much as it will be unwise to give all a try, I will suggest you narrow your attention to the ones you are interested in...
Even when you meet someone you have interest in, I will suggest that you do not think through the relationship in your head prior to things happening...
Do not create (false) expectations. You already know what happens when you daydream of a family with a guy that hasn't proposed
Trust your instinct at times, and when in doubt- don't
I understand you tell me certain things because you have doubts but there are 3 main reasons I am not in any position to help effectively...
1. Whatever you tell me about the guys is based on your subjective opinion.
2. You usually leave the important details out and that makes it difficult to see the big picture.
3. You never listen
...only when it is convenient for you.
You need to making friends out of the guys you meet. You make a mistake of giving the guy's "titles" like "prospect", "boyfriend", "the one"...
and you relate with them based on those titles
Take [your ex] for instance, he became a boyfriend without being a friend first...
That's why it is difficult for you guys to remain friends when you take the title away
Even the subsequent guys you met, you rather give them double promotion to boyfriend before they become friends...and that's why it's difficult to justify to yourself why you should consider them
So when you meet a guy, before you grant them titles please make them friends first
Posted by @adebsrk at 10:17 AM
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Relationship is like education. In education, an individual needs to acquire the knowledge of a particular or several disciplines to aid the mastery of what was taught. This acquisition process is usually in stages and it could span decades. That's why is unusual to be awarded a Ph.d on the first day of elementary school. I believe people need to have such acquisition process in relationships. The knowledge to understand relationships is not in the classroom but rather in experiences.
A lot of people are in messed up relationships. The become messed up themselves after the relationship is...over. At that moment, some wonder what went wrong, who was wrong, and ask "I can't believe I could be that stupid/gullible?"
Relationships are complicated [at times] but it is not rocket science. I observed people that suffer withdrawal symptoms aftermath of a wrecked relationship lacked 3 main experiences. I know that the acquisition of these experiences will boost the self esteem and confidence of anyone in and out of the relationship.
Experience 1: To have a strong affection towards someone that doesn't feel the same way.
This experience is acquired early in life and mostly by guys. Such guys developed such attraction towards someone and got turned down in the most humiliating way ever. I don't include crush on celebrities, but people we are accessible to.
The knowledge acquired is that not everyone is for everybody. The individual realise that the love for another does not translate to the feeling being reciprocated. You either become friendzoned or avoided.
People who acquire this experience in their twenties, thirties, or forties react to such rejection with a negative approach. They tend to believe "something" must be wrong with them INSTEAD of "it wasn't meant to be".
Posted by @adebsrk at 1:27 PM
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
I could assume every chic wants a strong man by her side. Someone who's capable to make her feel protected at all times. The most important quality of a strong man is to make that d!ck hard...and strong. No apologies but having all the 6 packs ain't worth sh!t if you can't maintain your 6 or 7 inches for about 30 minutes. Isn't that the real man?
Sex should be exciting, after all, "excitement stage" is included in the sexual response cycle. But lately, my sex life is faaaaar from exciting. It feels like work, it feels like prelude to a cum and once I have an orgasm everything about sex irritates.
Years ago, I watched a movie about a guy who had sex indiscriminately till it got to a stage he couldn't have an orgasm and began to fake it. I know girls fake it and that's because they cum too slow but guys? I thought that part in the movie was science fiction, but lately...
A friend told me his penis went soft while fuck!ng. He didn't cum but went soft while thrusting. In his defence his mind was engrossed on how to make money. The babe got pissed and concluded she wasn't attractive enough. It felt hard to believe.
I had a similar experience; I was having sex and didn't feel it. I knew I won't have an orgasm because my d!ck wasn't excited. I asked the chic at intervals if she had an orgasm and stopped as soon as she came.
Nowadays I had to get drunk to fu*k cause my mind wanders and stop feeling things. I am getting soft.
Posted by @adebsrk at 12:29 PM
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Happy Easter everybody...If I am right, then today symbolises Jesus Christ's rising/ascension. Well, let me also raise this blog from the "dead".
I didn't have any plan today, probably to go watch Fast & Furious 7, before I received a call/invite to attend AY Live with one fine geh like that. The night could end in several ways, regardless, I hope it's interesting.
Waaay up, I feel blessed!
Happy Easter and don't eat meat, even if it's p***y.
Posted by @adebsrk at 8:36 AM