Wednesday, October 31, 2012

October 2012: What? Why? How?

October is almost...gone. Some people are probably excited, others indifferent. Before the clock ticks 'November' these are my questions, but first...Matters Arising.

Chelsea lost to Manchester United but I'm still proud of my team. It was difficult playing with 9 men against an 11-man team plus the referee.

Time for questions...

• Will Obama win his re-election, personally I doubt he would?

• What should we expect after Sandy?

• How many people can say they understand & support Fashola's policies?

• Why are all girls beginning to act the same?

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Is Love Selfish?

While the concept of Love depicts it as unselfish, there are personal & selfish reasons used to determine who we Love. These selfish reasons have been socially defined as 'criteria' or 'desired qualities'. We might not even posses those criteria or desired qualities we want from the significant other, yet regard them as important. These remain the conditions we accept to Love the person. If you Love someone because she/he is religious, good-looking, will most likely fall out of Love when they stopped possessing those qualities. By the time you are old enough you Love anybody because YOU don't want to be alone.
The logic in Love was to find someone to selfishly compliment each other. I will conclude with three questions I asked a girl to teach her how selfish relationships were:

Question 1: Will you continue a relationship that makes you happy and satisfied?

Question 2: Will you continue a relationship that does not make you happy and satisfied even though the other person was?

Question 3: Will you continue a relationship that makes you happy and satisfied even though the other person wasn't?

Sunday, October 28, 2012

What They Won't Tell You: "Logical Truth"

I believe people lie everyday, that's if you considered 'half truth' as lie. If not lies, then it's simply deception. In law, it could be regarded as tampering/falsifying evidence. Yes, that's a better way to frame it- "People falsify evidence everyday"- especially so-called motivational speakers. They use words to convey intentions that YOU could drive yourself to success and in most cases use stories of others to inspire. Using people they attempt to make you believe were just like you, in the same position, but were able to overcome using principles or ideas they suggest. What I noticed was they do not tell you the whole story. I believe a complete sentence should have all the grammar requirement AND a 'logical truth', the later was what most people either forget or intentionally ignore.

I remember as a kid when I want report my peers to the teacher, I make statements like "He/She pushed to the floor". The logical truth in this context would be the reason I was pushed. I attempt to exonerate myself from every wrong. The same goes for the girl that complains her boyfriend cheats on her and the worker that claims his boss hates him. They complain/nag but will not let you know how it was their fault.

Back to our "Motivational Speakers". They stand on the stage and throw adjectives around and successful stories about prominent people in the society, carefully omitting the logical truth.

I attended a church programme where a guest speaker, Pastor Ituah Ighodalo, talked about success...following your dreams, those sort of things and decided to use a prominent woman as an example. A woman he claimed to have a personal relationship with. He mentioned she was an accountant, graduated from the University of Lagos and they worked with PricewaterCoopers. After a few years she left the company for an oil service firm to still work as an accountant. She wasn't with her job few years later and quit. She went home and fasted for 7 days while praying to God to direct her path. On the 8th day she slept and dreamt of walking into University of Lagos where she saw used pots and pans and a voice told her to wash them, which she did. She woke up and prayed to God may her direction not be to wash pots and pans, a whole University of Lagos graduate. The following day a similar dream occurred and she prayed against it. She entered her kitchen, opened a shelf to see an old cook book she had. She decided that was her venture into the food industry. Her father offered the room used by the gate man to start her small shop. She began to bake and supply to companies including UAC (owners of Mr. Biggs). Her business grew and expanded by opening a 'small shop' on Victoria Island. "That woman is Kehinde Kamson...and her business is Sweet Sensation" he said and the congregation got excited and clapped (except me of course).

The guy was a pastor and that's why I understand his emphasis on fasting in Kamson's story, BUT why did he make it appear following one's dream was enough while ignoring the logical truth. Let's be honest...
• Kehinde Kamson came from a wealth family with connection.

• Kehinde Kamson had no business with unemployment. She worked with a top account firm as well as an oil service firm while most people today will be lucky to have one.

• Kehinde Kamson was rich enough to quit and follow her dreams.

• Kehinde Kamson's dad offered the gate man's house to start her first shop, how many people could boast of having a gate man not to mention having a place for him.

• To supply confectionery to a company as big as UAC isn't because yours tasted better, that's some serious connection at play.

Pastor Ituah Ighodalo should have started with, "I know a woman from a wealthy family with connection..."

There are few prominent motivation speakers in Nigeria yet so many things they won't tell you. One talked about Aliko Dangote and his rise to become one of the richest men in the world. He focused on his hardwork and he had a business acumen at an early age. Good, I have no problem with that BUT he paid little regard to the truth Dangote was born into a wealthy family and at age 21 received a ₦500,000 business loan from a relative. That was in 1978 when the Naira had real value, the Naira even had more value that the US Dollar (₦1:$0.606). Today the Naira had obvious depreciated with ₦1 close to $160, yet, how many can people obtain a ₦500,000 business loan from a relative. This piece of information was the logical truth that would have made Aliko Dangote's story short of inspirational. It would have made the audience aware, if you want to make it like Dangote forget it, find your own way.

There are also people who find motivation in the success of people, totally ignorant of the fairytale story behind it. I know people who dropped out of school to become the next Mark Zukerberg or Bill Gates. All they know was they dropped out of school and made billions off computers. But... "Zuckerberg began using computers and writing software as a child in middle school. His father taught him Atari BASIC Programming in the 1990s, and later hired software developer David Newman to tutor him privately". How many of our software developers in Nigeria was tutored privately by a software developer & had parental support?

And Bill Gates, I read this hoax about Bill Gates in a restaurant with his son, he offer $2 tip while his son tipped $500. The waiter asked why and he responded, "I am the son of a wood cutter while my son had a billionaire father". But that's a lie
"His father was a prominent lawyer, and his mother served on the board of directors for First Interstate BancSystem and the United Way. Gates's maternal grandfather was J. W. Maxwell, a national bank president."
Bill Gates wasn't a stranger to wealth. When he was young computers were very expensive and he still had access to one to tune his skills.

Maybe it was laziness to find out more or we get satisfied after hearing what we want to or sounds positive to us. I've seen a 3rd class university graduate get a job reserved for second class upper and first class graduates. The person claimed it was God's grace or pure luck. What the person won't say during her testimony was she slept with the manager for the favour. She would deceive the congregation they could also make it if they prayed like her.
Or a woman that had her first issue after 10 years in her matrimonial home, she won't tell you had problem conceiving after multiple abortions in school and she got pregnant after cheating with her secondary school sweetheart.

I know we humans are hungry for something to believe give us hope. And probably that's why religion play an important role BUT we should know there was a 'logical truth' to all that we see or inspires us that if we knew would guide us to a new direction...a better one.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

"Daddy, I'm Pregnant"

There is a trend, it isn't new but lately it has involved people I grew up to know. The trend is getting knocked up out of wedlock. It happened in my final year and that was a huge surprise. Prior to that event I had the misconception only females without a concrete plan for their future get pregnant to keep it. I mean, I know getting pregnant for a boyfriend or a random guy isn't planned. Most girls get pregnant at a young age because of a simple reason- they believe it can never happen to them. Like I said, I believed only girls without a concrete future plan got pregnant out of wedlock. If a girl had a bright future and knew the consequence of unprotected sex had she would be extra careful (or avoid it). And in the even she got pregnant, there was Dr. Ben to flush it out. That's why I believe in this saying, "Ashewo no dey get belle/Prostitutes don't get pregnant", because they know the adverse effect pregnancy will have on their business.

I had been clueless to what happened after the girl realised she took in, especially how she approached her parents. How she said, "Daddy, I'm pregnant". I know a girl that got pregnant and an eviction notice from home after she broke the news. There was close to zero family support. The daughter and mother began trading abusive words. The mum called her a "slut", she replied "at least I got pregnant at the age of 20 while you got pregnant at the age of 19". Well, a year got to count for something. The older brother was furious, with venom in his voice threatened to kill the guy that 'defiled' his baby sister. Well, the guy was her age mate who got unlucky. The irony of it all, in less than a year the brother got a girl pregnant. Almighty God, indeed, works in mysterious ways.

I visited a female friend, the last time we saw was over a year ago. She cradled a baby in her arms and I jokingly asked, "is he yours?". She replied no and it was her sister's. "Yea, right!" I replied sarcastically. Her sister was younger and besides, her family was strict to allow that. After I was convinced she was serious, my next questions were based on how the family took it.

"Mummy I'm pregnant", was how she broke the news to the Mum. The mum was shocked and the major concern was how to tell the father. The next step was to seek help from the dad's close friend. He told a pastor and they all scheduled a meeting with the father.

The pastor began by talking to the dad about forgiveness and mistakes...those kin' things. In the room, the two sisters were crying because they anticipated a 'rage mode' from their father. After beating round the bush they told him one of his daughters was pregnant. He screamed the older daughter's name. She ran to the living room...before he could lay a hand on her he was stopped. "She is not the one", the pastor said. The father relaxed, he had two daughter and if it wasn't the elder sister then... He asked to know which one as if he had more than two. The younger one was called. The Dad's first question, "What is your husband's name?" As far as he was concerned, she had a fiance. It was on that condition he accepted the pregnancy and an engagement ceremony was held ASAP.

Unless a girl was in a financially stable position, I don't encourage her to get pregnant, regardless she was single or married. Going down that lane would affect her and her child. People will judge her making it tough on her, having low expectations. She would go through bullshit to protect her child and her own self-esteem. She grows up to be judged by her child. I mean, most of us blame our parents for personal failure not to mention a child that was delivered by the mother at an early age and unmarried at that time.

If it happens to me, hmmmm.......

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

This is Why You Shouldn't Expect an 'Asa Performance' From Tonto Dike

I saw this picture online, apparently this was Tonto Dike in a 'studio' voicing one of her songs.

First of all, look at the producer smiling...alone. Like he just heard a joke but didn't want to laugh out loud. Normally when we hear something funny we usually look at the person/people close to us to share it with, unless the joke was about the person and we don't to make 'em feel insulted. In such situations, we face down and he just did. Tonto had her eyes closed obviously feeling herself & that's why he could get away with it as well. Conclusion, whatever was coming out from her mouth was funny.

Second, Tonto's sitting posture is not one of the best to sing. Especially for someone inexperienced like Tonto. Placing comfort first proves she had no training on how to sing.

Third, the production was done on a laptop, obviously not a Studio laptop, with no voice booth .
The production software was Fruityloops [not bad] BUT 4 to 5 patterns were used. The production/beat of the song would sound 'empty' and the depth of the audio would be low. Like I said, it was not a studio laptop and so I doubt the presence of a high quality sound card. Also since the 'studio' looked more like a room a booth would have been necessary.

Fourth, you see the Blackberry on her lap. That's number one distraction, pinging and singing. For someone like Tonto it would be best if she got rid of all distractions.

The final reason...Tonto's [lack of] acting skill shows she's talentless already, why sing?

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Urban Legend Penis?

This picture has to be regarded as an Urban some Loch Ness monster sh!t. Is what's underneath the towel Ade's penis or a...flashlight.

Is Ade really endowed?

Monday, October 8, 2012

Made In Nigeria: Pictures

I am not sure if it's only me that posses the talent to know the location a picture was taken. I'm referring to pictures with Nigerians in them. I take a look and 99% of the time guess correctly if it was taken in Nigeria or some western country. It doesn't matter if it was taken on the street with whites in the background, or in a room with a wall behind, I guess right.

There is something...different about the picture and the explanation I had was in the air, literally. Probably in Lagos for instance, all the carbon monoxide, body odour, dead rat on the street...all contribute certain chemicals in the atmosphere. Making it more...condensed but becomes obvious [to me] when we take pictures.

Pictures Nigerians take in London [especially during winter] for instance makes them look fresh, like a little bit of photoshop was done.

However, I found the exception and that's the picture above. It was a picture taken during Nigeria's independence day celebration in America. Those peeps in the picture looked like Nigerians in Nigeria. It looked like there were at one of those cool parks in Abuja. Issok,they are supposed to be my people so I shouldn't diss them BUT if they lived over there but looked like they were in Nigeria, it shows some serious hustle going on there. They need to come back home before changing the atmosphere in the United States of America.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Sex without Condoms, Girls Love it Better

"Sex without condoms, girls love it better", yes I said it. I am yet to conduct my research but experiences have placed me in a good position to come to that conclusion. By the way, I am NOT referring to married focus is on fornicators. Those who were willing to have (unprotected) sex with someone who wasn't their spouse.

I know a lot of people might want to talk about the dangers of STDs, so I say this to you early, "Shut up! No one steals with the hope of getting caught; no one fucks with the hope of getting 'fucked'. I was made to believe guys had the urge to have sex more than girls especially unprotected sex. That we loved that raw feeling when the soft skin tissue of the penis is drowned in the wetness of a pussy. That WE loved it more, but what a lie.

One quick question, if both sex are aware they could end up having sex, how come it was the guy that would remember most times to bring the condom? I used to believe it was part of the unspoken rule, the guys brings the condom, but I've realised it was more. Girls don't give a damn about condoms. A typical girl would put bunch of stuffs in her bag but no space for condoms? If condoms were important to them like their make ups, it would find a place in their bags.

Another question, how come when you are making out with a girl for the first time and she's naked and wet, she comes to her 'senses' when you reach for a condom and says "stop it"?
I've been in such situation and I know friends as well. I would be making out with a girl...her panties off and I get that window period where her legs her parted for me to enter. The thing was I would have no condom on and as I get up to get it her legs closes. It was as if I failed a test. A friend that had been in such situation said the girl asked, "what do you take me for that you can't f*ck me without condom?" In my situation, the girl I was with said, "Aren't you man enough to know when you want to release?"

Some girls are drastic, they find a way to remove the condom while fucking. Some other girls are indifferent though. Condom or not, they will still f*ck.

I'm in no position to advice but if you really want to f*ck without protection get tested first. I can assure you sex will have more meaning then, until then...prepare to get fucked.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

This is How Relationships Are Damned

I got an unexpected phone call from an ex. The message was simple, she would like to see me in the evening to talk. Unknown to her I had an idea what she had to say. The call was unexpected because she was about to make a major decision and I guessed avoiding me would have been the best way (not) to approach the issue. The issue was she got engaged and the wedding had been scheduled in 2 weeks time. It shouldn't be a big deal but she was 20 and recently gained admission into the university. My corcern might not make a strong arguement considering she was Fulani and few of 'em I know got married before that age. I was certain that was the reason she wanted to see me, considering we really didn't end it.

Initially she was shy to look me in the eye. She stood there looking away as she passed an envelope. Without opening it I congratulated her. She smiled, replied "thank you. But you don't know what's inside".
"Your wedding invitation."
She was shocked/surprised that I knew. "You wouldn't believe I had no idea of getting married two weeks ago." She told me about her dislike for her husband to be. It was a pure arranged marriage, she used the term "contract". The condition that made her dad give his blessing was the fiance agreed to make sure she graduated from the university, a decision he earlier refused.

My question is, how the hell will an arranged marriage work in Lagos, Nigeria. The chic is Fulani but lived most of her years in Lagos and well exposed. She stressed her view the husband to be only inherited a title amd that wouldn't change anything. That I was closer to her than he was and would like me to avoid her after the marriage. She suggested all I had to do was keep it on the low and should text more that voice calls...that I should keep it discrete.

If I read between the lines, it seems she suggested I should welcome the idea of cheating on her husband. She obviously had it thought through. The guy's job discription had him away from the country over 70 percent in a year and she suggested there was time for us to see.

It was like this marriage ended before the wedding. BUT, I don't trust her. Sure, she made it appear she wasn't interested but she was selfish and that's one of her dominant traits. The guy she was getting married to was rich, not some random guy. In my opinion she was playing her cards 'right'. Get married to a rich guy that was hardly around and depend on your ex to go the rounds.

This is how relationships are damned and I don't want to be part of it.