Wednesday, October 3, 2012

This is How Relationships Are Damned

I got an unexpected phone call from an ex. The message was simple, she would like to see me in the evening to talk. Unknown to her I had an idea what she had to say. The call was unexpected because she was about to make a major decision and I guessed avoiding me would have been the best way (not) to approach the issue. The issue was she got engaged and the wedding had been scheduled in 2 weeks time. It shouldn't be a big deal but she was 20 and recently gained admission into the university. My corcern might not make a strong arguement considering she was Fulani and few of 'em I know got married before that age. I was certain that was the reason she wanted to see me, considering we really didn't end it.

Initially she was shy to look me in the eye. She stood there looking away as she passed an envelope. Without opening it I congratulated her. She smiled, replied "thank you. But you don't know what's inside".
"Your wedding invitation."
She was shocked/surprised that I knew. "You wouldn't believe I had no idea of getting married two weeks ago." She told me about her dislike for her husband to be. It was a pure arranged marriage, she used the term "contract". The condition that made her dad give his blessing was the fiance agreed to make sure she graduated from the university, a decision he earlier refused.

My question is, how the hell will an arranged marriage work in Lagos, Nigeria. The chic is Fulani but lived most of her years in Lagos and well exposed. She stressed her view the husband to be only inherited a title amd that wouldn't change anything. That I was closer to her than he was and would like me to avoid her after the marriage. She suggested all I had to do was keep it on the low and should text more that voice calls...that I should keep it discrete.

If I read between the lines, it seems she suggested I should welcome the idea of cheating on her husband. She obviously had it thought through. The guy's job discription had him away from the country over 70 percent in a year and she suggested there was time for us to see.

It was like this marriage ended before the wedding. BUT, I don't trust her. Sure, she made it appear she wasn't interested but she was selfish and that's one of her dominant traits. The guy she was getting married to was rich, not some random guy. In my opinion she was playing her cards 'right'. Get married to a rich guy that was hardly around and depend on your ex to go the rounds.

This is how relationships are damned and I don't want to be part of it.

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