I grew up believing everyone had a selfish trait, some were dominant than others. I categorise most of what we do as a means to satisfy our selfish needs, this is not far from Signumd Freud concept of the Id. What we call our best food is the meal that satisfy us the most. It wasn't the food itself (either nutritious of not) but the satisfaction derived (including the taste). So also the people we can our friends and most especially the people we love. They happen to be the people that satisfy our needs,either physical, social, or psychological.
From the biblical to the fictional concept of LOVE, it was not selfish. True love happened to be one of the purest form of affection but I don't agree with that. There was a high level of selfishness that existed in every love most especially the concept of true love. The most obvious were those who choose to love someone cause of their material wealth. I don't blame them especially girls considering how hot the sun had been these days plus the economy. Scholars on motivation had recognised the importance of intrinsic motivation in satisfying needs and there were also selfishness based on intrinsic needs needed to be satisfied as well.
Truth is we love selfishly. The person you decide to love is one that makes you feel good with yourself regardless if you make them feel the same. If you desire attention you find out you end up loving the person that gave just that and the love died when it stopped. Another illustration, if a girl was more comfortable with someone fit or a Christian brother, then she was likely to fall in love with one. It is such a selfish act that no one love someone because the person loved them first. It was simply based on I love you based on you satisfying my emotional needs, I tell you, and you have to say you love me too. That was why whenever I heard 'I love you' my following response was a question, please be specific on what you love exactly?
Those that had been fortunate to see two females fight over a guy would understand my view. The one I witnessed made me realise how selfish love was. The guy loved girls with big breast, and fortunately or fortunately that feature wasn't exclusive to one person. The girls apparently loved his personality and claimed he was someone easy to talk to. As these females disgraced themselves I was obviously lost in thought. It was obvious to me they didn't love the guy but those aspects of him and that was what they were fighting for. They could easily find other guys but not a guy that honestly listened. If the girls had taken time to look at themselves they would have noticed the similarities they shared. He didn't love them but what they had.
Still I keep asking myself, why did I love her? After all I wanted nothing from her.
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