Tuesday, February 7, 2012
You Are Only a Girlfriend, Don't get Carried Away With The Title: The Definition
A lot of females have called me a kid on this issue, saying I ain't ready for a relationship. That if I wanted to commit I should be able to put the babe first all the time, but that's bullshit. We all are like football Managers with people in our lives the players. If a player wasn't performing well, regardless of the amount spent on the player, you sub him and place him on the bench until he picks up. In other words, no one had a permanent starting eleven position. The importance was to motivate them, to always put in their best. I see most girlfriends, even those of my friends believing they had a permanent starting spot, all because they were tagged "girlfriend". They demand too much of what they don't deserve and when you ask why such demand, the answer would be, "Because I'm your girlfriend/ boyfriend". My response in such situation was, "You are only a girlfriend, don't get carried away with the title".
The reason girlfriends act like such wasn't because they were selfish, it was because of a "loop hole" in word definition and reality. Most people relate to objects and people according to the definition given to them. For example, if you visit someone for the first time, you feel sleepy and the person suggest you sleep in her/his bed. From the word "bed" you think it would be something soft and comfortable. You get to the room only to find out it was entirely made of concrete. You are likely to challenge the person it wasn't a bed and at that moment the only point you have to make your defence was your DEFINITION of what a bed was. Back to girlfriends and boyfriends. Most people have a definition of what they should be, caring, loving, supporting blah blah blah, but in reality are they? When you acknowledge an individual was your gf/bf, you automatically give them the qualities and expectations you have for them according to your definition.
This definition was based on experiences (personal, friends, or TV) and to be honest, I doubt anyone would fully fit your definition because most people have unrealistic expectations in their definition. So because you were the girlfriend the guy wants you to be willing to have sex everytime, give him privacy...which might not be in your own definition as a girlfriend. Same with guys, the girlfriend might define you with the qualities you would define a father.
I believe in having realistic definition and that has nothing to do with the title you give the person but one unique of the individual. This was something I developed in Primary school after realising teachers weren't always right (that obviously changed my definition of a teacher). If you are lucky to date me, don't say you should do this and that because you are this. Don't say i should tell me my secrets because you are a girlfriend. And definitely don't think I will make you the one and only in my life, because I had friends that had been there before you and I have more qualities to define them than you. Once again, you are only a girlfriend, don't get carried away with your title.