Monday, November 28, 2011

How To Annoy Your Boss

I was at work one day and noticed a co-worker had a rather strange behaviour. Anytime anyone walked close to him he tilted the monitor screen away from the person's view OR he minimised the page. I felt he was probably watching porn but I had doubts when I realised he was taking notes as he kept on clicking the mouse. I mean, no one takes notes when watching porn [it was a visual learning experience]. As he stepped out I walked to his table and maximised the browser. Initially I was puzzled until I found the humour in it [strangely]. He had been reading articles on "How to annoy your Boss".

I used to think having a job was like a boob in hand was worth two in the bra ish. I mean, lots of people were unemployed and it wouldn't be advisable to annoy one's boss which would probably lead to getting fired. I do understand where his frustration could have come from, his monthly salary was some co-workers weekend allowance...damn!

I decided to come up with some ideas you could use to annoy your Boss BUT I'll take no responsibility if you get fired. Feel free to add yours.

• Use earphones when your boss is talking to you with music blaring.

• When your boss calls you on your phone/intercom, begin the conversation by saying "this better be important because I'm on the last stage of Zuma."

• Talk to your boss in a language she/he doesn't understand.

• During meetings especially ones with potential customers, walk in, fart, and leave without saying a word.

• Accuse your Boss of not flushing the toilet after use.

• Whenever your Boss tells you to do something you find stressful, tell him you can't because it was against your ethics, principles, and religion.

• Follow your Boss on twitter/ Facebook and keep talking trash about her/him online.

• Wear a branded shirt of a competing firm to work.

8 comments:

  1. These aren't ways to annoy your boss, these are ways to piss him/her off and ensure that you'll be unemployed soonest lol

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  2. Horrible bosses deserve it. A friend works in a company where the Boss physically attacks them like a bully & they do nothing because the fear of being unemployed.

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  3. Lol. Those tips will ensure that the employee is fired immediately. Let me add some more: Walk out in the middle of an important conversation with your boss. When your boss tells you to do something, tell him: It's not part of my job function and walk out. :-D

    naijabankgirl.blogspot.com

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  4. Er, i suggest you try these after you've gotten another another job but darn, this would be such joy to try out.

    I) when your boss is having a fit, tell s/he to keep calm cos hypertension kills

    2)When she calls, ignore

    3)When she gives you her job, ask her what exactly she gets paid for hehehe #badass

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  5. Oh i deseperetely need to ad one:

    When your boss looks at you like you are a fly on his wall, tell him - 'I would have felt better if it were someone really important looking at me that way.' Give out a really long hiss, slap your ass and walk away!

    I have been wishing i could do this to one really silly boss but alas, i cant. *sad face*

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