Monday, November 21, 2011


Take this quiz, Brag is to ____ (Men/Toys) as Nag is to ____(Sky/Females). I'll give you a hint, those verbal actions are associated with humans. I know I'm generalising, I know there are men who nag but females have the exclusive right those men only...licenced it. I hate nagging, that is one of my natural turnoffs (others include bad breathe and body odour). Even if you are my Rihanna in Beyonce's body, as soon as you begin to nag I begin to sing "to the left, to the left".
The Bible recognises the dangers associated with a nag. Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a QUARRELSOME WIFE.
Proverbs 27:15-16 A QUARRELSOME WIFE is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil in the hand.

Like I implied, I cannot date a girl that nags. There was no need to be in that relationship because nagging is one of the most obvious signs of incompability. Don't get me wrong, you might love the person but you are not compatible. It shows communication between you two is faulty and there was difficulty in making the other see things your way. So you keep repeating the same thing until it becomes annoying. It feels like trying to fix a square peg in a round hole where the square peg is the info you want to pass across while the round hole is the person you want to pass it to. Nagging is when you try to force the square peg/info into the person by all means. With enough force you might succeed but that would change the shape of the the square peg, the round hole or both. The bottomline is whatever you wanted to pass across won't be taken the way it was intended. The info or suggestion you wanted to pass across is therefore distorted and someone gets hurt emotionally. Now imagine if every suggestion you have in a relationship could be described in the context I gave.

I was listening to a radio programme, a man called in and said he wanted to remain anonymous. His voice sounded like he was tired....emotionally. He asked "How do you know you married the wrong person and your wife wasn't suppose to be your wife?" Then he admitted, "I think I married the wrong person." The presenter attempted to give the speech of marriage isn't a bed of roses but the caller wasn't buying it. The caller said his wife complains a lot about everything he did. The presenter was still trying to play love doctor and gave the whole opposite attract sh!t and the wife was there to checkmate him blah blah blah and keep him grounded. The caller still didn't buy it. He gave a situation, he lived in an area with bad roads/drainage [that could be anywhere in Lagos] and decided a sport utility vehicle (SUV) would be the best type of car to purchase. The wife objected and called it a waste of money. He knew if he got the car there wouldn't be peace in his house as long as he had it. The caller added, "I'm tired". Although the caller gave an instance it was obvious this was one too many. Even if the wife had a point their being incompatible won't allow her to pass it across in a way it wouldn't threaten his peace. There are ways some wives would talk to their husbands, make suggestions, and the guy would believe it was his own decision. He would walk around satisfied like the man of the house while the wife would sit behind pulling the strings. A nagging wife would demand an amount of money from her husband and he would say he was short on cash, his mistress would know how to present it to him and he would drop double the amount the wife asked.

Each man would have his way to deal with a female that loves to nag, but one thing is certain and that is it would lead to the failure of the relationship/marriage. A failed marriage isn't only divorce, it also includes the death of love and affection in the home. A guy got married to a beautiful intelligent girl. She was also a barrister and guess what? She could also nag. No guy would want to f@*k with a lawyer/barrister that've lost the case before you commit the crime. The guy became happiest when he was at work and dreaded going home because his wife was ready to nag him till he pretends he was asleep. He decided to get himself wasted before going home...just drink and smoke weed, that way he would have no idea what the wife was nagging about and have a wonderful smile on his face. His wife began to nag about that unaware the only way to stop him from drinking was to take a moment and shut up about his drinking/smoking habit. He got bored of the whole ish and left his home. He went to a friend's place, switched off his phone and stayed there for three days without any contact with the outside world. No one except the friend knew where he was. The wife began to panic. She called his friends, family members and work colleagues but no one knew where he was. By the time he came home she was intelligent enough to know what drove him away and apologised. She said "I didn't know it had that much impact on you". If I were the guy, I would have spent a whole week away.
"A nagging wife will rot the bones, kill the spirit and dry up any creative thinking. She will drive a man into the desert to free his mind of the constant drip. She will torture him slowly and he will die a slow painful death".
If you nag STOP, no good thing comes out of it and the easiest way to know if you nag is to ask. A lot of people won't get married because of that and those that nag their way to the altar won't have a happy marriage. If you do want to stop the act adopt patience and know when to pass your point across. Maybe I should write another piece on that...


  1. You know only this morning i realised i had become somewhat a nagging wife/worker, so i repented and im praying God helps me to completely change.

    But you didn't factor in the fact that many a wife, wouldnt nag if the husbands did the right things at the right times!!! For example-repairs around the house,paid or made provision for bills to be paid as at when due.

  2. I understand what you mean, BUT one strong motivation for women who nag was the belief they were right. The instance you gave was a result of your rationalization that the cause of your Nagging was your husband's inefficiency executing domestic duties in the home. Like I said, the wife might have a point but nagging is not about what you tell him to do but HOW you tell him and in the long run the has an emotional consequence.

    Some wives can tell their husbands to do what you want yours to do and they would achieve that without nagging, THAT is where compatibility comes in.

  3. @Fluffycutething does it bring memories.