Thursday, November 10, 2011

What A Wonderful Lie

One of the biggest lies would have to be "I don't lie". If every misinterpretation of fact is a lie [which I believe that is what a lie is] then we are all liars since we do that all the time. I have met liars...and I've believed some and obviously doubted a whole lot. But the fact is, [and I ain't gonna lie] lying is fun if you are getting away with it.

I had this friend who was in a gathering of university graduates. It was supposed to be an intellectual one so they began by stating the discipline they studied and institution attended. The first mentioned something like Business & Logistics at University of Michigan, the second person mentioned a university in the UK. The last person to talk was my friend....he noticed everyone had their university degree outside Africa not to mention Nigeria where he studied. He graduated from the University of Maiduguri with a degree in Electrical Engineering. If they thought they could intimidate him, he had something in store. Without flinching he said, "I studied Aircraft and Missile Propulsion at the University of Kabul, Afghanistan." Those guys believed him and to me...that was a wonderful lie. The look they gave him signified respect as he bamboozled with using terms like "applied
compressible flow and thermodynamics" to describe what it was about. I have no doubt they were thinking not only did he have a degree in a "complicated discipline" but in Afghanistan. Those guys must have good lecturers to take subjects related to that know...they love bombs and stuffs like that. Also he must be fricking intelligent. One fact was if they didn't place any prestige in the discipline they studied and where they got it from, they wouldn't have been....Wow!ed.

Most guys lie to get attention from girls...I don't need to do that except I realised the girl's stupidity was less than a typical girl's average I allow her spin for a while. I was with one early this year and after five minutes I was bored with what was coming out from her mouth. It was one of those egocentric statements about how different and unique she was from other girls. I interrupted her...I told her I was leaving Lagos soon for Abuja and that I was the head of the political campaign team of the president representing the youth. Her eyes lit up...I just sat there relaxed. There were so many things I can fake comfortably but intelligence? I don't need to. I kept talking sweet political nonsense and ending statements with "...but I wouldn't want to bore you with that". Like every good magic trick, I needed to Wow! Her. I remembered I had a text message on my phone, it was one of those sent by the president's campaign organisation. Instead of a phone number as the sender it was a name, and it was the president's name. I showed her the text and the next thing that happened....[Is rated 18 SNL]. It was a damn wonderful lie.

People shouldn't be allowed to be stupid to believe such lies but they just do. And if you find anyone believing a ridiculous lie, play along for a while, let their head spin.


  1. LMAO!!! I remember this story!!!

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