Antithesis

Never had a guest writer but I'm glad with this being the first. Adesina Ademola author of the blog www.adesina-ademola.blogspot.com

If you like my posts then you'll like his, and if you hate mine...you will definitely LOVE his.

Antithesis

Disclaimer: there is a certain degree of self-awareness you must have to understand the concept painted in this piece. Also, there is a need for you to NOT be judgmental, NOT sermonize me with your responses, and NOT believe you have earned the right to relate with my parallels. All I’m asking for is your God-given ability to internalize the concept without personalizing the events. As such, if you don’t understand, I’ll understand – because this was written on glucose high!

Anti-Thesis - A person or thing that is the direct opposite of someone or something else.

A large part of my life has been spent in the pursuit of self-definition. That which a lot of people like to term “self-discovery”. While this is a noble feat in its own right, I’m afraid of what I always find at the termination of a phase (yes, self-discovery is phased – don’t act like you didn’t know). I always come to the same freaking conclusion – I am an antithesis (Google the word if you have no idea what it means)

In secondary school mathematics, SS2/3 to be exact, we go through a phase of finding the subject of a formula. I’ll be honest now; I never liked mathematics in school (secondary school + tertiary schools – yes, I attended more than one tertiary school, getting degrees in them and as such I am over-educated – sue me). The opening statement of this paragraph is to draw a parallel between finding the subject of the formula and the process of self-discovery. You are expecting to get pretty much the same equation for the subject (yourself), and match it to the formula (your life) – these are two mutually exclusive but oddly dependent constructs upon which your being is based (don’t ask me to define as well). Back to it, I am an anti-thesis. The very word anti basically means negation, non, not etc. Perhaps the simplest way to put it will be I am the embodiment of the extremes of virtually all spectra of human emotions and actions (trust me; it is the simplest way to put it!!!!).

Scenarios:

1.      I am all for marital bliss and stability and fidelity and honesty and trust and all that good stuff that we lie through our teeth (if the devil came for people shortly before they bedded a girl ehn – boys dey go hell fire like no man’s business). But I am a jaded, cynical non-conformist who has absolutely no faith in the institution of marriage whatsoever.

2.      I’m all for being in a single relationship. I love my girlfriend, and I tell my friends to marry the girls they are with (if they feel they will make it o – I am NOT responsible for the decisions you make). I can counsel the life out of you on the joys of a single relationship. But, I have not found the gall to stay in a monogamous relationship since the age of 18 (monogamous reads I am seriously flirting and most likely unconsciously leading someone on)

3.      I like to tell people to work hard. I like to believe I have a strong work ethic, and that it helps me push through the days. But, I also like to tell people to enjoy themselves, drink, make love, make merry. You will still get away with it. And I do both very comfortably *evil grin here*

4.      I love the concept of family, I live it. But every now and then, I find the thought of solitude rather comforting. Solitude being me alone, by myself etc. But I am shit scared of being lonely.

5.      I can talk about religion, faith, spirituality etc. Was raised a Christian (still am one), but for reasons I have stopped trying to give, I loathe the current religious set-up in the country, hate their MO even more (salvation and prosperity vs. my personal fave – spiritual growth)

The scenarios are endless (I swear I’ve lost count of the times I’ve said something and done the exact opposite), which brings me to the realization of a few chilling potential explanations:

·         I am a hypocrite (I know people that don’t like me will agree to this one – tough luck, even I don’t buy this one. I’m as real as they come);

·         I am crazy!! (certain people have used this one – I occasionally believe them. Heck, this one amuses me!)

·         I am incapable of taking my own advice, but perfectly capable of giving working solutions to other people’s issues. – This one is the height of irony/paradox/whatever qualifies the phenomenon

These three explanations all boil down to a flaw I am most willing to accept in myself. I have discovered who I am (at least I tell myself I have) - and that is someone who is capable of living on both sides of the spectrum, and still find the time to be in-between. Essentially, I am an antithesis of everything I stand for, a model for what everyone could be, but never becomes. As such, I am a very reliable unstable person with a shockingly low tolerance for people’s BS!!

Now, before you get the impression that I am full of myself (surprisingly ehn, I get this one so much that I beg God for it not to be true, and then again, I say it is the work of my haters. So what if I am, whose business is it *mscheww*), I’m just saying stop, and think about it for a second. What kind of person are you? I’ve used every formula there is, and I’ve come up with the same answer every year for the last 6 years.

So there it is! Antithesis!!! And don’t worry, you might find that you are one too. It’s not so bad. Just not very welcome – now you wish you had stopped reading a long time ago, had taken the advice of the disclaimer, hadn’t asked yourself some questions and hadn’t reflected on some events in your life more than you probably needed to. Well, I did warn you, and as such, I am not liable for all the issues you just discovered. I probably just gave future therapists a few more clients. God bless counseling and psychotherapy. All the best!!!


Adesina Ademola