This is for 2014 by Adesina Ademola

This is for 2014 b

2013 just passed. Big fucking deal. 

NB: This is said with a hint of sarcasm and buckets of nonchalance.

Why?

Well, it’s for a number of reasons really.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am more than grateful that I have made it into the New Year. Actually, I probably have more to be thankful for than most people. But then again, I am rarely ever satisfied with anything. Call it the human condition, my human condition.

I have come away from 2013 with quite a few lessons and a few close shaves. I have been scared stiff (you’ll get the pun later) into thinking I was about to become a father at the tender age of 26 (don’t smirk; young men take that shit very seriously nowadays. The respective costs of Pampers/Huggies/Dr. Brown’s, Cerelac/SMA Gold put the fear of God into our respective wieners whenever we want to kpansh!). But then again, maybe when I am a rich and successful guy (God willing), some child will come and tell me that my indiscretions in Ipinle Omoluabi have come to haunt me. Watch this space!

I have learned that there really is no end to the capacity of the human animal (read as “being” for those of you with delicate sensibilities) to love as many people as possible all at once. Please do not read as promiscuity. It insults all promiscuous people.

I have learned that misery and despair can eat away at you. That it really is important to find the silver lining in all the clouds that cast your thoughts. You owe it to yourself!

I have failed at my (many) attempts to try and make everything I am involved in better. This one is actually very hilarious because while I am thinking “why can’t we try it like this because it would be so much better?” the other party is like ‘Give it a rest already you fucking know-it-all.” Come to think of it, it actually feels kind of pathetic because people will just be looking at you like “What is wrong with this one sef?”

Biggest lesson learned from 2013 - how not to be a horrible boss, shitty thinker, and incompetent leader. The amount of meaningless “strategy sessions”, half-assed decisions, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey activities that I have witnessed in Nigerian companies the past year alone has served the single purpose of helping me understand the need to listen to as many people as possible when making decisions that will affect more than just me. To be fair, a lot of the people I am aiming this one at have their hearts in the right place. But goddamit, your heads need to be calibrated a few notches above normal – that’s why you are expected to lead the company. But then again, maybe na me no just sabi life!

 Just read the last paragraph as “I’ve learned how not to be a horrible boss” and “I’ve learned how not to make earth-shattering stupid decisions, especially when the scenario involves more than me and my beautiful ego”.

And to the ass-kissing, apple-polishing shoe-shiners of the world (nothing against the shoe-shiner plying his trade in your hood, some of them are actually very nice guys), I’ve reinforced my life’s creed of not being one of your elite club. Yes, you will get ahead, nothing wrong with that. But please be rest assured, the word honor still means something to some of us. This may not make a lot of sense at the moment (even me sef dey doubt the sense behind this paragraph), but then again, not a lot of things in this world do. It’s just a thing of your world view.

NB2: The rest of what you are about to read might not make much sense, so I apologize in advance.

In a quick rundown, other things I’ve learned are:

1.       Detach your ego from work. It will hurt less that way.

2.       No need to get political. Leave that for people who don’t know their shit

3.       Be happy going for the best alone. The world will (hopefully) catch up later. And if they don’t, well, you might get fired for not being a team-player

4.       Be nice to others. But be a fucking drill sergeant from hell on yourself. You’ll thank yourself when you consistently deliver beyond everyone’s expectations.

5.       Enjoy poetry.

6.       Take walks by calm watersides (Bar beach doesn’t count). The spirit of calm can reach you there.

7.       Love.

I apologize for everything else that I have not written here. It is either my subconscious being selfish or I don’t know as much shit as I think I do. We’ll let the universe decide.

Have a blessed 2014.

 

@adesina_ademola