Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Benefit of Benefit of the Doubt

Have you heard the story of a woman that did one last shopping before boarding a plane? She decided to buy chocolates for her kids back home which she put in a small bag. Half way during the flight she had to use the bathroom and dropped the bag of chocolates on her seat. She returned to see a father and his daughter that occupied the seat beside her feeding off a bag of chocolates. She was dumbfounded especially when the girl looked up at her and smiled. All the woman could say was "I can't believe you are doing this, it is rude." Instead of missing out on the treat entirely she joined them. The daughter increased the speed which she used in unwrapping the chocolate bars and the woman did the same. She didn't chill to finish chewing a bar before putting another one in her mouth. Afterall, it was her money used in purchasing it and she wanted to eat as much as possible. The man had a disapproving look on his face but she didn't care. After they emptied the bag she sat comfortably in her seat and spotted her own bag of chocolates. She looked at the father and daughter without an idea of how to explain her actions.
Virtually everyone have been in situations where they jump to conclusions early. They make decisions based on gut feelings, decisions which in most cases might come with repercussions unlike the instance described above. I am referring to those where someone is accused for an action they didn't commit but we were conviced they were the culprit and we proceed to taking actions. Such accusations might lead to death of the cordial relationships between the accused and the accuser.
I remember back in school when I had a roommate who was notorious for "borrowing" stuffs without permission. His hands itched like he had chlorophyll on 'em, so by the time one of my items was missing he was the prime suspect. I had to use my discretion...I accused him and as expected he denied. That wasn't the first time he would deny an act he carried out...all you needed was force and he would begin to sing like a tweety bird. All the effort put in to make him say what I expected him to say was wasted when I found what I accused him of stealing. I had to swallow my pride and apologise and THAT is what most people find difficult to do in such situation.
I'll give you a technique you could use to make that easy no matter how much you accused the person/dent the image. When you accuse someone always give the person the benefit of the doubt but not enough for the person to use it as defence. Say stuffs like, "if you aren't the one...I'm sorry, I really am. But I have a gut feeling you are the one and I know if you were in my shoes you would do the same" then you can go ahead and slap the person silly but keep saying the same thing. Let the person know you aren't doing it out of hate but dissapointment [even if it was a lie]. Apologising shouldn't be difficult if the accused wasn't the culprit...then again, you've even appologised.

1 comment:

  1. I'm laughing so hard it hurts. You forgot to add that anyone considering the use of the technique should employ discretion as to whom it should be applied on.