Friday, March 9, 2012

Last Nigeria Virgin [pt. 1 Green Rose]

Once again, I had one of those relationships that ended before it had begun. I know some girls that wouldn’t be surprised. Shirley once said I need to free myself from those types of females. I tried running away from them, but now it seemed I’ve only been moving on a treadmill. I had decided to stay off girls, got tired of doing the same thing and expecting a different result. I was on way home when this lady approached me and after a small chat she requested for my phone number. Within the past few weeks, she wasn't  the only one to take such a step. I think she was the third. The difference this time was I also requested for hers. As I walked away I assured her I would call her later that day. That might not be a big deal to some people, but it was to me. I was ‘affiliated’ with many females, and my phone book was a trash of digits. I scroll through, and I see names like; Chioma (Akoka/she likes colour blue), Chioma (fair & loves rock music), Chioma (Imo babe with huge ass/Surulere)...even with the tags, I still found it difficult matching the faces with names, so I never call until I experienced an epiphany. The only ladies I remembered were those on my call list. I called her that evening and requested we hang out the coming weekend.

I have an impatient attitude towards girls and relationships. I tell me people, my life isn’t a soap opera so don’t expect me to wait till next week to say what’s on my mind, and I don’t expect the girl to wait for the right moment to let me know what was on hers. When I see a girl I find attractive I tell her like it is, and if she wasn’t interested in me, I move ahead before feelings got involved. After all, I wasn’t asking her to marry me so making a decision to date shouldn’t be that difficult or need her to consult friends.  

From the phone conversation we had I sensed she was interested. I only hoped she didn’t begin to build walls around her because I wasn’t ready to raise a finger to make them tumble. I don’t appreciate girls playing with red/green lights. We met that Saturday, had fun, and on Sunday she was in Stamford Bridge. Slow down…we didn’t have sex. We were in my bed gisting until I kissed her. With no permission I kissed her and she kissed back. Base one [check], Base two [check], Base three…[hold on, I’m a Virgin].

I had nothing against virgins. My surprise was because I had no idea she was one from the discussion we’ve had so far. I know it wasn’t written on the forehead, but I can’t possibly have her half naked less than 24 hours after our first date just to hear she was one. I retrospected about the past discussions we’ve had to see if she left signals…nope! She sensed I was distracted as my actions became passive and asked if I had anything against virgins. I had nothing against virgins EXCEPT the egocentric attitude displayed when they glorified their status. You know the saying, when all you got was a hammer you see every problem as a nail. Virgins were like that (hammer). Their virginity was made the sun in which their world evolved. I led her into my past experiences with virgins. If I call them and act all romantic they believe it was because I was yet to have sex with them. If I don’t call and act romantic they claim my sudden change in behaviour was because I wasn’t getting any. The most annoying part was when they used sex to motivate and say shit like, “I can’t wait to make love to you. Just be patient, one day you’ll enjoy all of me”.

She laughed it off, claiming she was different. I took that as a lie, we don’t laugh at lies. From that moment on I thought the relationship would take a different turn, more talk less action, but I was wrong. She was comfortable with us doing EVERYTHING except sex. The kissing became intense; the blow job paid off cause the head I gave was correct. I went a step further when I fingered her and she enjoyed it. She was moaning in ecstasy. I had fingered virgins before and getting the tip of my finger inside her pussy was difficult. Definitely impossible without her in pain but this babe didn’t feel that. I began to stimulate my finger as if it was a penis to fuck her and it went in and out with ease. I called it BRT lane. The only time she complained was about the incompetence of a finger and suggested I used two. Yea, two fingers disappeared into this girl’s pussy and appeared and she still claimed virgin. Days later we went a step further. This time, the deal was only the head of my dick could enter. According to her, we weren’t having sex. There was a round I was more than certain my dick was fully inside her but she still disregarded the notion of us having sex. She would say stuffs like, “I’m yet to have an orgasm ‘cause we were yet to have sex blah blah blah and how tight she was”. I nodded as an agreement to what she wanted me to believe. I got tired of acting once and told her she wasn’t a virgin and drama begun. I had never seen anyone in an attempt to be convincing. She earned her [first] Oscar performance when she said, “I’ll like us to go for a virginity test. It seems that would be the only way for you to believe I am a virgin”. A typical Ade would have jumped to have that experience but it wasn’t necessary. I decided to play along with the conception of her being a V. I would pretend not to have sex with her and she would pretend as well.

She called me after one of those days of…sex? She said she saw spots of blood on her panties. I was amazed. Finally, this girl found a way of putting me in the dark if she was a virgin or not. I was left to believe I might have mistakenly applied pressure on her hymen and it ruptured hours later. This babe was good and I was glad the whole virginity issue was settled. She called hours later that she was still a virgin. That the blood was from her clitoris [something like that]. That I might have injured her while my fingers were fucking her. I was like…damn! This babe had a free pass about this whole virginity ish and did a Torres by wasting the opportunity.

The day finally came, the day she told me to go all the way. In my mind, I was like; this is it. The moment of truth and blood. I knew what virgins could do to a clean bed spread but I was bothered because I was of the motion this girl wasn’t a V. My first thrust nothing happened. She began to tell me how painful it was. I wanted to laugh but held it back, I also wanted an Oscar performance. Second, third, fourth thrust…no blood. She looked surprised. “Just go for it at once, put everything in. Don’t worry about the pain I’m feeling." If only she knew my dick was close to feeling her ribs. I kept on going while she kept asking if blood was rushing out. I came first; she pushed me away and ran to my bathroom. She closed the door behind her and I could hear her writhe, saying something like “pain…below…abdomen…have…Panadol”.

I sensed this babe would continue with the act even after hearing cut getting caught. And that was when the real drama begun.

Click on "Last Nigeria Virgin[pt. 2 Red Rose]" for the concluding part.


  1. This is like the 3rd time i've read this. i feel like i have a comment brewing..but i don't know what it is...

    1. I noticed a couple of mistakes. I hope it still conveyed the meaning, I had 30 mins to finish it and leave work to go home. You could wait for the other part to comment. I didn't want the post to be lengthy so I divided it.

  2. LMAO!!!! R u being for real now?! This girl is such a joke! I kent even come up with something witty to say.....smh!

  3. Big broz, laff wan kill me 4 here o. Had such incidence too, buh she led me to believe i ma dick waz short,i con begin dey wonder if d hymen is located in their chest

  4. I feel you man. I also forget people who are in my phone book. they should call first!

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