Monday, March 26, 2012

What Is Beauty?

I added a girl on my BBM and... damn! no story necessary just look at the pix below and comment. Tell me how to define beauty because I'm lost here. Have it in mind the pix was taken in a BEAUTY salon/palour and she was wearing a smile. Remember, they say smiles make people beautiful. Add all of those together and define beauty.
The...female in the picture deleted me as a contact. I asked if she was the person on her display picture and she replied 'yes'. I can't remember what I said next but I know I was so honest that she had to delete me as a contact..


29 comments:

  1. Hmmm...
    Probably will have been best to keep your thoughts to yourself.
    No use hurting her feelings or affecting her sense of self worth for things she has absolutely no control over.
    I guess she should be comfortable with herself - no matter what or how she looks..
    **My 2 kobo..

    ~~Mukoro.

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    1. She had control over going to a salon, smiling, taking the pix, and using it as a display picture. I know girls take their time selecting a pix to use, which she probably did, and decided the picture was a good representation of how she saw herself.
      I'm saying the picture does not make her attractive. I don't believe a typical guy would see that pix and say, "I feel like dating that babe". Regarding her self-worth, if must be close to the ground at that age for her to delete me.

      My question still stands, how should I define beauty?

      Delete
    2. The only thing aesthetically not 'beautiful' is her dentition. Should she be ashamed of having lost a front tooth? Come on.

      Delete
  2. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my broda. This lady did the right thing by deleting you...lol. She knows her worth. She knows there is a man out there who would adore her just the way she is.

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    1. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Believe me, sometimes beauty isn't in the eyes of the beholder. That's why some opt for the saying, "love is blind". Talking about 'beholder', that was the name of an ugly looking monster in Dungeons & Dragons. So maybe you are right, Beauty is [indeed] in the eye of the beholder.

      She didn't do the right thing by deleting me. All she did was confirm I was right. I only made her see the reality people around her probably kept numb about.

      I don't doubt she would find a man that would love her but I doubt the man can ever say, "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" and she would believe completely.

      Delete
  3. Thank you Prism.

    Adebrsk, are you for real, or just trying to be snarky? That lady is beautiful, confident and she radiates joy. If you can't see it, it's your loss, not hers.

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    1. I respect you Myne, I really do BUT you are breaking my balls here. Are you fo'real? I don't doubt 'she radiates joy', every animals do that, but I'll put a '?' After the word 'beautiful'. I understand this is a sensitive issue because it involves humans and their emotions but we have to be honest with ourselves. That's why there is a saying 'the truth is bitter'. When we tell people such lies we end up deceiving them.

      One of the problems people have with honest self evaluation was incongruence between their real self & ideal self. One of the causes a person might evaluate herself/himself higher than they were was lies. Lies they heard from friends and family. I'm sure you've watched Idols audition. An individual would sound so horrible yet believe without a doubt they had a sweet voice. Sometimes you see their friends comforting them, saying the judges made a bad decision. Those words might be comforting but it was pure deception.

      Fact is, we all can sing but not everyone got a beautiful voice. We all can dance but not all of us can dance beautifully. We all have a face but... You get my point. If everything was equal we wouldn't have adjectives & adverbs.

      There are times we have to face facts and not sit on the fence like Oprah. Oprah would say sh!t like everyone was beautiful but she dare not appear on a show without heavy makeup. Myne, take a stance & don't try to be conservative all the time.

      And to your last statement, it can't be my loss. Really? You think so? Like most people I know, they keep their distance from me because I tell them the way it is AND they always come to me later when they need to face facts. That's a fact, her loss.

      Delete
  4. What wrong did she do you? Did she ask for your opinion...if you answers to these are "nothing, no"......i just smh, horizontally.....o ye "truth" speaker.

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    1. The most difficult questions to answer in life had nothing to do with good/bad, right/wrong. Same with the opinions we have of people. My point is individuals don't wait till something good/bad was done for/against them before an opinion was established.
      To answer your second question, yea she did ask for my opinion. The conversation was simple. ME; "Is that you on you DP?" HER: "Yes, why did you ask?" ME: "Because..."

      We humans ask questions everyday. Most of them we don't want an answer to or we expect the reply to be "Nothing". I'll admit I don't know which ones needed answers. It isn't about being a "truth" speaker.

      Delete
  5. I should've known I couldn't count on you to play nice, smh.

    But to answer the original question, no one can define beauty for you. We each define it our own way (though many take hints from what we have been socialized to believe is "standard beauty") Thus, beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. Whats beautiful to you may not be the same thing as what's beautiful to me. Just because our opinion on beauty differs doesn't take away from how beautiful we perceive someone or something to be.

    In the case of this young lady deleting you, it probably has more to do with her not wanting to have to deal with any insults you may or may not have planned to throw her way than her actually believing she's not beautiful because of whatever "truth" you said to her.

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    1. From your second paragraph you suggested beauty was subjective. That makes us right irrespective of the opinion we had.
      But why the attack against my stand for not defining someone as beautiful?

      Now to your last paragraph. You might be right but I see it differently. I would substitute 'reality check' for 'insults'. She was probably avoiding reality checks to her self-esteem.

      Delete
    2. Where did i attack you? If anything, i defended your right to not find someone else attractive. All i said was you don't know how to play nice. As for it being a reality check, well your perception is only YOUR reality. So to her whatever you said was probably just an unnecessary insult. And how many ppl will choose to continue to communicate with someone who is just going to rain insults on them?

      Delete
    3. Babe I should have made myself clear. I wasn't referring to you.

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    4. so you made me raise my blood pressure for nothing?!? lol

      Delete
    5. Pele dear. You are Beautiful.

      Delete
    6. Don't "hmmmm" me. If you think I'm wrong about you being beautiful, tell me.

      Delete
    7. There's no right or wrong. If you think i'm beautiful all i can say is thank you (and walk around with a bigger ego than i may have had before)

      Delete
    8. You are VERY Beautiful and I know you can't produce an offspring that would like the picture.

      Delete
  6. @Adebsrk,

    As usual, the comments are more interesting than the post. "Monkey no fine but him mama like am". Being blunt and frank is a nice trait to have but u also have to apply tact and diplomacy at times. To me, the lady was not all that bad apart from the gap tooth but like Myne said, she was radiating joy and radiance. If you can not look beyond the physical imperfections and see the beauty therein, how would recognize beauty when you see her? Beauty to me,is really subjective as what you might term not beautiful would be beautiful to me and vice-versa.

    Keep telling the stories..

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    1. I don't know if I should take your first statement as a compliment. Probably I should write empty posts and chill for people to comment. That would definitely save me time. You said the lady is not bad, fine. Will you like to date her?

      Delete
    2. Lol..Take it as one cos truth be told, the comments your posts generates are simply hilarious. I do not double date s i wont be able to take up your offer.

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    3. Help her out, like Justin Bieber said "there will be one less lonely girl".

      Delete
  7. LOL!! Tunde!! u crack me up....But 4rm d little i know about you, the "TRUTH" u told her probably came out as more of an insult. If u cant pay for her plastic surgery, y r u complaining?? cuz she sure cant change her looks without 1.

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    1. What can I say, I know my friends and my friends know me.

      Delete
  8. I agree with what earlier people said, her teeth is the only problem and coupled with the fact she has a goofy smile it makes her look a bit comical. You have every right to not be attracted to her.

    Judging from the post it sounds like you don't really know the girl, maybe just met her. With that in mind, I don't think it was your place to be 'honest' with her as you put it. That was just mean and unnecessary.
    I think deleting you was the right thing to do, why have someone on your bb you barely know, that insulted you and as a result you would probably never speak to again.

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    1. I agree what I said was hurtful but that does not make it wrong. I personally prefer people speaking up than being deceived with silence, regardless the issue involved.

      Delete
  9. My husband and I have been married for 3 and a half years. In June it will be 7 years that we have been a part of each other lives. Recently he found out about a guy I slept with when we were separated and I did not tell him about. Before we got married we both agreed to let everything out and start fresh. I didn’t tell him. I was embarrassed bc the guy and I never actually had sex…just everything that led up to it. not to mention it was my brothers best friend and a huge mistake. well it came out recently along with some lies. A friend told my husband I cheated on him and I have never cheated on my husband nor would I ever. He is convinced I am a cheater. we have 2 beautiful kids and all I have ever wanted is a happy family. my kids and my husband truly are my everything. I can not see a future where my husband is not in it. I want to do whatever I can to save my marriage but I feel my husband is already set on the divorce. I know I could have been a better wife to him….a wife he deserves but now I fee like I have realized it too late. I look at my kids and I hate myself for allowing myself to break my family apart. I know my husband is not perfect and he has hurt me tremendously these past 5 years we have been off and on but we made it through for a reason. I love him and I want to save my marriage, one day a friend of my introduce me to a spell caster online who lift me up gave me hope and with-in 2 days after his spell my husband who told me he needed a divorce, called me and take me back home to me i must say today we are happily as one big family again all thanks to Dr joy a father and a real spell caster.Contact email address joylovespell@gmail.com Call him +2347059014517



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