WEMA Bank...Big, Strong, Re...oh! That's Union Bank

So few minutes ago I was in Wema Bank, I don't bank with them but had to deposit some amount into someone's account. I already had the perception the staff were old and slow and guess what...what?...I wasn't totally proved wrong. They were slow alright but not that old. By the way, I'm referring to the branch at Ikeja close to "under bridge". I stepped in and the first thing I noticed was the floor was littered with sweet wrappers. It looked like a playground. Apparently the bank left sweets in a bowl on the counter as part of "customer service" but forgot about waste bins to dispose the wrappers. So, trust dirty Nigerians...impatient to get rid of wastes.

I'm a kind of person that is happy when I'm in the presence of beautiful people. And by that I meant people that wear the most beautiful outfit called a SMILE. These guys were too damn moody plus they had two pregnant staffs who made sure the environment was gloomy. One "good" thing I noticed was the equality amongst the staffs...It was difficult to distinguish a cashier from a cleaner especially the females. Their hair was unkempt and EVERYONE [except one] used a rubber band as a hair ribbon. Wema bank operates what they call regional banking so they don't exist in the Northern & Eastern Nigeria...only here in the west. I'm guessing that was the criteria for recruiting because Yoruba was the language of communication. Everything about the bank felt wrong...I have this feeling it extended to their customers.

A lot of them were impatient...like they had to save the world. Even Jack Bauer had 24 hours to save the world but a minute to these guys was like a year. One woman had an issue with accessing her account. She was asked to provide any form of identification which she gave. The customer care representative asked her name and she said, "Iya Toyin". She said she needed her full name + surname. She said Iya Toyin Adebanjo. The rep was confused...she confirmed her surname as Adebanjo. The name she gave didn't match the one with the account so the rep asked if she opened the account before she got married and she replied, "Yes". She requested for her maiden name but the customer had no idea what "maiden name" meant. So she explained that would be the name she was called before she got married. She replied, "Bisi". By the way the customer care rep was pregnant and didn't find it a bit funny. She told her to tell her her father's name and guess what she said...Baba Bisi. The rep got tired of the guessing game and told her the name on the account and made it clear the name didn't match the one on her identification card. She responded by saying the surname on the account was that of her first husband and the rep never asked the name she used to open the account, true. The man beside me kept dissing the bank on their incompetence...by the time he got to the cashier he was told he didn't write the account name on the withdrawal slip. He blamed the bank slip's design for not noticing that. In the end he was asked, "Are you expecting money in this account?" Meaning "Guy...you no get bar for your account". The guy stammered a bit and was directed to the floor manager.

As much as I might have dissed Wema bank that wasn't my intention. Just unfortunate my first experience in a branch outside the University of Lagos was...but damn, the bank sucks.