Thursday, June 9, 2011

Fly Kick For My Fly Kicks

After an operation (appendectomy) I was required to stay indoors for 3 weeks to recuperate. It was a boring 3 weeks. I wasn't your typical outgoing individual but I felt I was in bondage knowing going out wasn't an option. I practically stayed in bed for over 80% of the day. The weekend of the third week I decided to treat myself, nothing special, just hang out in public places alone. First on my list was to get to Shoprite at Surulere to get Pizza and a bottle of red wine. Sit somewhere in the building with my ipod on and relax. Had no idea of what to do next but I knew I was going to watch a movie before heading home.
If you had seen how I had dressed, you would think I was going for a party but in all honesty I was celebrating life. The last thing before stepping out was to decide on which footwear to put on. I walked to one of the stores at home which I had converted to a closet and realised all my fly kicks were gone. The shoe rack was totally empty, damn...I had no more shoes.
I had not noticed within the past 3 weeks and now I had no idea when they were moved/taken/stolen and by who. No one had an idea of where they walked to and I saw everyone as a suspect.
SUSPECT 1: Mother: I was a graduate and was still putting on fly kicks. She expected me to start putting on shoes that sounded like a metronome whenever I walked. She probably took everything to force me to begin wearing corporate shoes.
SUSPECT 2: Sister: Her room was closest to the closet. Her birthday was coming and she had been complaining of how broke she was. She probably sold them to raise birthday funds.
SUSPECT 3: Brother: For the sole reason I call them fly kicks and not trainers.
SUSPECT 4: House girl: She already had a 'criminal record' of stealing my sister's clothes to sell.
SUSPECT 5: Gate man/House boy: He was a crook and never gives change for things he was asked to buy. I don't send him anywhere, I find it difficult sending people on errands. Lately he developed a gambling habit, a habit difficult to maintain/control. He might have stolen them to pay off debts.
I looked at my suspects critically and decided it was suspect 5, house boy. The guy denied as expected. The first thing I did was update my facebook status and told the guy I was going to take him to the police station, but I had no shoe to wear. Nice. I asked the guy why he turned me to an Isrealite, then again, they had shoes. The guy was always quick to deny and after I said few things he developed a fever. I became convinced he was the one. Got some badt guys and fly kicks for my fly kicks begun. He denied until he was about to be tied upside down...he confessed and all I could say was, "My Guy!". He hid my fly kicks in his friend's place five streets away. They had sold few of them and also left the left foot of my Nike Air Max.
That was the last time I saw him, like Trump would say, "You are fired!". He wasn't sacked because of the value of the fly kicks but the motivation behind stealing them. He was developing habits to sustain his gambling habit and when it was someone you place at the entrance of your home, you had to be very careful. My plan for the day was thwarted but I had a good laugh.