I'll start by saying this post is not rated Jenim. Jenim is a girl I know that described some of my writings as "vile" and tagged me as "professor of masturbatory studies". If you also have such opinion about my posts, I can assure you this one won't perform any justice in changing your mind. Since Jenim might not like it that was why I chose the rating.
In my defense my blog isn't Super Story, I am not preaching family values but my experiences which we all have our unique ones but I've decided to put mine in words. Like this one I've titled "Kinky Love Triangle".
Where do I begin to make you understand the feeling I had throughout this experience. It was back in the University of Lagos, sophomore, and I was in a period where I thought I had discovered myself. I would describe myself as socially-reclusive but still had my guys with bonds stronger than the rest. These were the guys you could make sacrifices for and no pussy or dough could come between [theoretically]. One of 'em told me about a girl he was interested in dating...the girl was fine I aint gonna lie & she had an innocent look about her that could either attract or discourage a guy regardless of his intentions. The conflicting thing about such looks was that a guy could either see the girl as naïve and get what he wanted [is there any need to spell it out?] Without stress OR the girl could be too naïve and dull the guy until he came to his senses to move ahead. This girl was a mix of the two, she was like a faulty street light. One second you see the green light and before you could move an inch it turns red. My guy got fed up and officially proclaimed he no longer had the chic on the parole list. I decided to collect the baton because I had this feeling I was fast enough to cross that line when I see the green light before it turned red. I decided to take it slow to achieve that, girls like that were moved by words and I was good combining them to compose wonderful sentences. The frustrating aspect for me was I never saw the green light.
I was on my way to the library when I heard someone call my name, it was her. I told her where I was off to and she decided to tag along. That was good enough for me...I saw that as an opportunity and I took it. My purpose of visiting the library was to find reference materials for an assignment on rites of passage- how certain cultures celebrated a child's transition into adulthood. Some how the discussion about my assignment became sexual in nature. And that was before we even stepped into the library. If my assignment was based on sex, her mind was enough reference material and she facinated me more because it contrasted her persona/appearance. As we stepped into library my eyes began to scan for a location that was coded. Where it would be possible to run things. I spotted one between some old shelves in a corner. In the pretext of finding books I led her to that spot and the first thing I did was to clear doubts and make her know "No one can see us standing here". She went 360 degrees to confirm. Next thing I knew, we began to kiss...like really kiss. At one point I had my fingers in her pants and hers in mine. What tripped me the most was we kept on laughing and commenting on what we were doing. You only experience such things with people you were comfortable with...physically. From that day on our make out sessions began in the mornings before class, like before 7 o'clock, it was one of the best ways to start the day. I'll be in class, sitting with my heart filled with bliss while I watched the lecturer's lips move before I fall asleep in class. Then one day she told me my guy, who said he was no longer interested, was making moves. As in, he wanted to continue from where he stopped and this time he was determined to date her.
I was in a position where I definitely didn't want to be. I was beginning to really like her and...maybe I was at fault. Although I told my guy I was interested, I left out what went down in the library as well as other lips touching sessions. More over all our moves had been coded while his was for all to see. The reason I decided to keep it on a low was to avoid his interest in her resurfacing but it did eventually. If I dated her I knew people would tell me I fucked up my guy's moves. Still I didn't want to let go like that, it wasn't that easy. I left the decision open for her to make [as if I had a choice]. She told me to make it to school early one morning...apparently she told my guy the same thing. He got to her before me and that was what her decision to date him was based on, because he got to her early.
Their relationship blossomed no doubt. Any feeling I had had to be buried somewhere way deeper than my unconscious. I tried to distance myself from her but it wasn't possible. The fact that she was dating my guy meant we would still be seeing each other just as much. I went to my guy's place one day and noticed they were both in his room...the soundtrack was bloody in the sense that I had to hear her moan as she lost her virginity. I mean, I shouldn't feel anything but I did. No one noticed I was there and I preferred to keep it that way. I couldn't look at her in the eyes from then on because all the innocence was gone as I looked from mine. Maybe it was a selfish/jealous feeling but I knew if for a reason we ended up dating, she would NEVER be the way I left her.
They say opportunity comes once and when I met her younger sister, I saw it as an opporunity presenting itself twice. The younger sister reminded me of the girl I knew in the library. Not for the make out part but for the fun loving aspect. Maybe it was my uncouscious rooting the feeling I had for her sister and directing it to her. The sister wasn't in support of me making any move but I didn't care, as far as I was concerned she shouldn't have a say in this. I wasn't going to let go of this opportunity. My relationship with her sister began and at a point I got confused. Was I interested in her because I couldn't get her sister or because I liked her...at times I find myself calling her her sister's name. My guy travelled to the UK for his masters but not before ending the relationship with the girl. Apparently the relationship was stretched to the limit that the incompatibility was obvious. To be honest, I do know they both seem to be happy together...seperated.
She is single, I'm dating her sister but would preferred if it were her and she knows that and waiting for me to make a move this time. Now I'm here typing this thinking...should I follow my heart this time and fight for this feeling or should I let this slip away and cease this kinky love triangle. I know people are going to have things to say...names to call but if that was going the cost of having a happy relationship was it worth it? I have decided that this time, like the last, I'm going to leave my arms wide open and sees if she runs to embrace. The twist now is I'll walk away from both of them if she comes late.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
How To Annoy Your Boss
I was at work one day and noticed a co-worker had a rather strange behaviour. Anytime anyone walked close to him he tilted the monitor screen away from the person's view OR he minimised the page. I felt he was probably watching porn but I had doubts when I realised he was taking notes as he kept on clicking the mouse. I mean, no one takes notes when watching porn [it was a visual learning experience]. As he stepped out I walked to his table and maximised the browser. Initially I was puzzled until I found the humour in it [strangely]. He had been reading articles on "How to annoy your Boss".
I used to think having a job was like a boob in hand was worth two in the bra ish. I mean, lots of people were unemployed and it wouldn't be advisable to annoy one's boss which would probably lead to getting fired. I do understand where his frustration could have come from, his monthly salary was some co-workers weekend allowance...damn!
I decided to come up with some ideas you could use to annoy your Boss BUT I'll take no responsibility if you get fired. Feel free to add yours.
• Use earphones when your boss is talking to you with music blaring.
• When your boss calls you on your phone/intercom, begin the conversation by saying "this better be important because I'm on the last stage of Zuma."
• Talk to your boss in a language she/he doesn't understand.
• During meetings especially ones with potential customers, walk in, fart, and leave without saying a word.
• Accuse your Boss of not flushing the toilet after use.
• Whenever your Boss tells you to do something you find stressful, tell him you can't because it was against your ethics, principles, and religion.
• Follow your Boss on twitter/ Facebook and keep talking trash about her/him online.
• Wear a branded shirt of a competing firm to work.
I used to think having a job was like a boob in hand was worth two in the bra ish. I mean, lots of people were unemployed and it wouldn't be advisable to annoy one's boss which would probably lead to getting fired. I do understand where his frustration could have come from, his monthly salary was some co-workers weekend allowance...damn!
I decided to come up with some ideas you could use to annoy your Boss BUT I'll take no responsibility if you get fired. Feel free to add yours.
• Use earphones when your boss is talking to you with music blaring.
• When your boss calls you on your phone/intercom, begin the conversation by saying "this better be important because I'm on the last stage of Zuma."
• Talk to your boss in a language she/he doesn't understand.
• During meetings especially ones with potential customers, walk in, fart, and leave without saying a word.
• Accuse your Boss of not flushing the toilet after use.
• Whenever your Boss tells you to do something you find stressful, tell him you can't because it was against your ethics, principles, and religion.
• Follow your Boss on twitter/ Facebook and keep talking trash about her/him online.
• Wear a branded shirt of a competing firm to work.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A Lannister Always Pays His Debts...and You Are Not A Lannister
The world's economy is being run by debts, you see, I don't have to be an economists to know these things. If a world power like America could be over $15 Trillion in debts and rising, who are we to say being a debtor is a bad thing. We have America owing Mexico and all these proves two things, anybody can owe any and status does not exist in the world of debtors. All you had to do was prove/promise/deceive that you were going to pay back, simple. In George R. R. Martin's "A Song of Fire and Ice" there was a statement, a Lannister always pays his debts. The Lannisters were the richest family in the fiction determined to owe no one and WE are far from the Lannisters.
My first exposure to debt management would be in Nursery/Primary school. We weren't owing money then, it was promises and like they say, "a promise is a debt". We would say things like "I promise to play with you during break-time" and during that period the kid would be left alone...ignored, while the person that made the promise would be playing "catcher" with the other kids. As kids I would say we didn't know the consequences of making promises or owing someone and we made it everyday. In secondary school, things changed. Money replaced promises as debts, promises became the collateral used to get the debt. You borrowed the cash and promised to pay back. That was how it worked. It became difficult to pay back because people made promises when they were in need and at that point they might be convinced they would pay back...but a principle of motivation says a satisfied need is not a motivator. The debt takes care of their need and the motivation to repay the debt no longer existed. The debtor could even begin to intimidate you all in an effort to frustrate you.
As we grow older, things change once more and we become wiser. Promises no longer guaranteed debt repayment. We borrow/lend based on personal assessment of 2 things. One, the possibility of the person to repay based on past records and two, incase the person proved stobborn, we consider the possibility of forcing the person to repay. Sometimes we demand for a collateral for the second. When a student decided to sell Brazillian hair products in school she knew the risk involved. A lot of girls wanted it but couldn't afford it and often negotiated contract payment. The issue with contract payment was you had to constantly keep tabs on your debtors like an FBI agent. You even end up calling them more than your loved ones. One "chic" in school decided to have one of those Brazillian hair weave-on...that was the trend and she didn't want to be left out. BUT she didn't have the full amount...she was twenty thousand Naira short. She became one of those "I'll pay next week". Next week turned to weeks and months without the girl showing signs of repaying. She had a nice chat with her twenty thousand Naira debtor and gave her a condition to repay the debt...she accepted. The condition was....*read on*. The debtor went with the girl to visit a man in his office, a married man I must add. She introduced the debtor as "the girl I told you about". He invited the debtor to sit on his laps and she obeyed with zero hesitation. In the presence of the girl, he stripped the debtor naked...played with her boobs and every other part that could produce liquid before he fucked her on his table. While he was doing this, he kept having a casual conversation about how sweet the girl's pussy was and asked if she had any other debtor that needed to repay debt. By the end of the day everyone was satisfied. The man covered the debt after fucking the debtor, the debtor no longer became a debtor. She still had her Brazillian hair but I'm not sure about her dignity. The debt literally fucked her up.
My first exposure to debt management would be in Nursery/Primary school. We weren't owing money then, it was promises and like they say, "a promise is a debt". We would say things like "I promise to play with you during break-time" and during that period the kid would be left alone...ignored, while the person that made the promise would be playing "catcher" with the other kids. As kids I would say we didn't know the consequences of making promises or owing someone and we made it everyday. In secondary school, things changed. Money replaced promises as debts, promises became the collateral used to get the debt. You borrowed the cash and promised to pay back. That was how it worked. It became difficult to pay back because people made promises when they were in need and at that point they might be convinced they would pay back...but a principle of motivation says a satisfied need is not a motivator. The debt takes care of their need and the motivation to repay the debt no longer existed. The debtor could even begin to intimidate you all in an effort to frustrate you.
As we grow older, things change once more and we become wiser. Promises no longer guaranteed debt repayment. We borrow/lend based on personal assessment of 2 things. One, the possibility of the person to repay based on past records and two, incase the person proved stobborn, we consider the possibility of forcing the person to repay. Sometimes we demand for a collateral for the second. When a student decided to sell Brazillian hair products in school she knew the risk involved. A lot of girls wanted it but couldn't afford it and often negotiated contract payment. The issue with contract payment was you had to constantly keep tabs on your debtors like an FBI agent. You even end up calling them more than your loved ones. One "chic" in school decided to have one of those Brazillian hair weave-on...that was the trend and she didn't want to be left out. BUT she didn't have the full amount...she was twenty thousand Naira short. She became one of those "I'll pay next week". Next week turned to weeks and months without the girl showing signs of repaying. She had a nice chat with her twenty thousand Naira debtor and gave her a condition to repay the debt...she accepted. The condition was....*read on*. The debtor went with the girl to visit a man in his office, a married man I must add. She introduced the debtor as "the girl I told you about". He invited the debtor to sit on his laps and she obeyed with zero hesitation. In the presence of the girl, he stripped the debtor naked...played with her boobs and every other part that could produce liquid before he fucked her on his table. While he was doing this, he kept having a casual conversation about how sweet the girl's pussy was and asked if she had any other debtor that needed to repay debt. By the end of the day everyone was satisfied. The man covered the debt after fucking the debtor, the debtor no longer became a debtor. She still had her Brazillian hair but I'm not sure about her dignity. The debt literally fucked her up.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Touch Of My Hand
"I’m not ashamed of the things that I dream
I find myself flirting with the verge of obscene
Into the unknown, I will be bold
I’m going to places I can be out of control
And I don’t want to explain tonight
All the things I’ve tried to hide
I shut myself out from the world so I
Can draw the blinds and I’ll teach myself to fly
I love myself
It’s not a sin
I can’t control what’s happenin’
‘Cause I just discovered
Imagination’s taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand..."
That song by Britney Spears is all this post is about, and if you don't get it by now...sorry, I'm not going to use the M word but I'll give you another clue, self-gratification. I once said the number one lie people tell was, "I don't lie". I think this should be the second. People deny they do this. But I know, whether you are a virgin or not OR you are simply confused if you are still a virgin, you can't bullshit me you haven't done this...it was human nature for you to understand the touch of your hand as you explore erogenous zones. You know, those places that takes you to a higher place.
I aint gonna lie, it helped me a lot. For one, it helped me understand where sperm was released from. And also that sperm didn't look like a tad pole with the naked eye. You see I grew up a great thinker and when I learnt about sperm from a science teacher who was scared to cross the imaginary line of decency I was left confused. In my own understanding of his words, sperm came out from the balls. I knew where the balls were, after all I had be kicked there a few times BUT which channel did it exit the body from? If the school teacher had said sperm was produced by the balls and released through the penis, next time I was drawing the female reproductive system I would have written at the vigina "Insert Penis Here" to show I understood. Like sweat, I use to think sperm would be released through the balls sack *why did I even have that thought?* Anyway, by the touch of my hand I discovered Sperm.
Like I said, self-gratification had taught a lot of people so many things and one of them was that the female body indeed had a delayed sexual response cycle. Most girls complain that they weren't being satisfied by their men...he cums early and they were left half-way and all that. If it was the guy's fault how come when it comes to self-gratification guys still cum faster than girls. Guys don't even need toys...but girls, they have a multi-millon dollars industry designing dildos, vibrators, and Ben Wa balls to satisfy them. My point is, guys if you can't make a girl cum, relax, even they have difficulty in making themselves cum.
Self-gratification was no doubt a remedy for sexually frustrated individuals especially men. It was a quick temporary fix for a rush of blood to the penis. I remember in camp...where men had to sleep in what could have passed for a wearhouse. There were bunk beds arranged in rows but that didn't help in the perception of overcrowding. The room was poorly ventilated and the heat emanating from the bulbs only made the condition worse. A decision was reached to switch off the bulbs at night. On one of those nights someone for whatever reason switched them on as he stepped in...with the sudden illumination everyone became wide awake and eyes shifted to a guy jerking in his bunk. That was what caught our eyes. The guy had reached a point of no return as he was about to release...which he did and came back to his senses. Trust guys...this guy became the joke of the night. But he was bold o. He confessed that wasn't the first time he did that in the bed and passed the blame to girls. He added he doesn't have a girlfriend and girls were fond of turning him down. On a good year he would have sex twice. I felt for him...having sex twice a year, it was traumatic having wet balls only twice a year. Did I mention this guy was in his thirties? He was. If he was my friend I would have introduced him to some gehs from Imo state...then, on a bad year he would not have had sex twice that year.
I find myself flirting with the verge of obscene
Into the unknown, I will be bold
I’m going to places I can be out of control
And I don’t want to explain tonight
All the things I’ve tried to hide
I shut myself out from the world so I
Can draw the blinds and I’ll teach myself to fly
I love myself
It’s not a sin
I can’t control what’s happenin’
‘Cause I just discovered
Imagination’s taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand..."
That song by Britney Spears is all this post is about, and if you don't get it by now...sorry, I'm not going to use the M word but I'll give you another clue, self-gratification. I once said the number one lie people tell was, "I don't lie". I think this should be the second. People deny they do this. But I know, whether you are a virgin or not OR you are simply confused if you are still a virgin, you can't bullshit me you haven't done this...it was human nature for you to understand the touch of your hand as you explore erogenous zones. You know, those places that takes you to a higher place.
I aint gonna lie, it helped me a lot. For one, it helped me understand where sperm was released from. And also that sperm didn't look like a tad pole with the naked eye. You see I grew up a great thinker and when I learnt about sperm from a science teacher who was scared to cross the imaginary line of decency I was left confused. In my own understanding of his words, sperm came out from the balls. I knew where the balls were, after all I had be kicked there a few times BUT which channel did it exit the body from? If the school teacher had said sperm was produced by the balls and released through the penis, next time I was drawing the female reproductive system I would have written at the vigina "Insert Penis Here" to show I understood. Like sweat, I use to think sperm would be released through the balls sack *why did I even have that thought?* Anyway, by the touch of my hand I discovered Sperm.
Like I said, self-gratification had taught a lot of people so many things and one of them was that the female body indeed had a delayed sexual response cycle. Most girls complain that they weren't being satisfied by their men...he cums early and they were left half-way and all that. If it was the guy's fault how come when it comes to self-gratification guys still cum faster than girls. Guys don't even need toys...but girls, they have a multi-millon dollars industry designing dildos, vibrators, and Ben Wa balls to satisfy them. My point is, guys if you can't make a girl cum, relax, even they have difficulty in making themselves cum.
Self-gratification was no doubt a remedy for sexually frustrated individuals especially men. It was a quick temporary fix for a rush of blood to the penis. I remember in camp...where men had to sleep in what could have passed for a wearhouse. There were bunk beds arranged in rows but that didn't help in the perception of overcrowding. The room was poorly ventilated and the heat emanating from the bulbs only made the condition worse. A decision was reached to switch off the bulbs at night. On one of those nights someone for whatever reason switched them on as he stepped in...with the sudden illumination everyone became wide awake and eyes shifted to a guy jerking in his bunk. That was what caught our eyes. The guy had reached a point of no return as he was about to release...which he did and came back to his senses. Trust guys...this guy became the joke of the night. But he was bold o. He confessed that wasn't the first time he did that in the bed and passed the blame to girls. He added he doesn't have a girlfriend and girls were fond of turning him down. On a good year he would have sex twice. I felt for him...having sex twice a year, it was traumatic having wet balls only twice a year. Did I mention this guy was in his thirties? He was. If he was my friend I would have introduced him to some gehs from Imo state...then, on a bad year he would not have had sex twice that year.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Nag...NaG...nAg..NAg...nag...naG
Take this quiz, Brag is to ____ (Men/Toys) as Nag is to ____(Sky/Females). I'll give you a hint, those verbal actions are associated with humans. I know I'm generalising, I know there are men who nag but females have the exclusive right those men only...licenced it. I hate nagging, that is one of my natural turnoffs (others include bad breathe and body odour). Even if you are my Rihanna in Beyonce's body, as soon as you begin to nag I begin to sing "to the left, to the left".
The Bible recognises the dangers associated with a nag. Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a QUARRELSOME WIFE.
Proverbs 27:15-16 A QUARRELSOME WIFE is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil in the hand.
And by QUARRELSOME we mean NAGGING.
Like I implied, I cannot date a girl that nags. There was no need to be in that relationship because nagging is one of the most obvious signs of incompability. Don't get me wrong, you might love the person but you are not compatible. It shows communication between you two is faulty and there was difficulty in making the other see things your way. So you keep repeating the same thing until it becomes annoying. It feels like trying to fix a square peg in a round hole where the square peg is the info you want to pass across while the round hole is the person you want to pass it to. Nagging is when you try to force the square peg/info into the person by all means. With enough force you might succeed but that would change the shape of the the square peg, the round hole or both. The bottomline is whatever you wanted to pass across won't be taken the way it was intended. The info or suggestion you wanted to pass across is therefore distorted and someone gets hurt emotionally. Now imagine if every suggestion you have in a relationship could be described in the context I gave.
I was listening to a radio programme, a man called in and said he wanted to remain anonymous. His voice sounded like he was tired....emotionally. He asked "How do you know you married the wrong person and your wife wasn't suppose to be your wife?" Then he admitted, "I think I married the wrong person." The presenter attempted to give the speech of marriage isn't a bed of roses but the caller wasn't buying it. The caller said his wife complains a lot about everything he did. The presenter was still trying to play love doctor and gave the whole opposite attract sh!t and the wife was there to checkmate him blah blah blah and keep him grounded. The caller still didn't buy it. He gave a situation, he lived in an area with bad roads/drainage [that could be anywhere in Lagos] and decided a sport utility vehicle (SUV) would be the best type of car to purchase. The wife objected and called it a waste of money. He knew if he got the car there wouldn't be peace in his house as long as he had it. The caller added, "I'm tired". Although the caller gave an instance it was obvious this was one too many. Even if the wife had a point their being incompatible won't allow her to pass it across in a way it wouldn't threaten his peace. There are ways some wives would talk to their husbands, make suggestions, and the guy would believe it was his own decision. He would walk around satisfied like the man of the house while the wife would sit behind pulling the strings. A nagging wife would demand an amount of money from her husband and he would say he was short on cash, his mistress would know how to present it to him and he would drop double the amount the wife asked.
Each man would have his way to deal with a female that loves to nag, but one thing is certain and that is it would lead to the failure of the relationship/marriage. A failed marriage isn't only divorce, it also includes the death of love and affection in the home. A guy got married to a beautiful intelligent girl. She was also a barrister and guess what? She could also nag. No guy would want to f@*k with a lawyer/barrister that nags...you've lost the case before you commit the crime. The guy became happiest when he was at work and dreaded going home because his wife was ready to nag him till he pretends he was asleep. He decided to get himself wasted before going home...just drink and smoke weed, that way he would have no idea what the wife was nagging about and have a wonderful smile on his face. His wife began to nag about that unaware the only way to stop him from drinking was to take a moment and shut up about his drinking/smoking habit. He got bored of the whole ish and left his home. He went to a friend's place, switched off his phone and stayed there for three days without any contact with the outside world. No one except the friend knew where he was. The wife began to panic. She called his friends, family members and work colleagues but no one knew where he was. By the time he came home she was intelligent enough to know what drove him away and apologised. She said "I didn't know it had that much impact on you". If I were the guy, I would have spent a whole week away.
"A nagging wife will rot the bones, kill the spirit and dry up any creative thinking. She will drive a man into the desert to free his mind of the constant drip. She will torture him slowly and he will die a slow painful death".
If you nag STOP, no good thing comes out of it and the easiest way to know if you nag is to ask. A lot of people won't get married because of that and those that nag their way to the altar won't have a happy marriage. If you do want to stop the act adopt patience and know when to pass your point across. Maybe I should write another piece on that...
The Bible recognises the dangers associated with a nag. Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a QUARRELSOME WIFE.
Proverbs 27:15-16 A QUARRELSOME WIFE is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil in the hand.
And by QUARRELSOME we mean NAGGING.
Like I implied, I cannot date a girl that nags. There was no need to be in that relationship because nagging is one of the most obvious signs of incompability. Don't get me wrong, you might love the person but you are not compatible. It shows communication between you two is faulty and there was difficulty in making the other see things your way. So you keep repeating the same thing until it becomes annoying. It feels like trying to fix a square peg in a round hole where the square peg is the info you want to pass across while the round hole is the person you want to pass it to. Nagging is when you try to force the square peg/info into the person by all means. With enough force you might succeed but that would change the shape of the the square peg, the round hole or both. The bottomline is whatever you wanted to pass across won't be taken the way it was intended. The info or suggestion you wanted to pass across is therefore distorted and someone gets hurt emotionally. Now imagine if every suggestion you have in a relationship could be described in the context I gave.
I was listening to a radio programme, a man called in and said he wanted to remain anonymous. His voice sounded like he was tired....emotionally. He asked "How do you know you married the wrong person and your wife wasn't suppose to be your wife?" Then he admitted, "I think I married the wrong person." The presenter attempted to give the speech of marriage isn't a bed of roses but the caller wasn't buying it. The caller said his wife complains a lot about everything he did. The presenter was still trying to play love doctor and gave the whole opposite attract sh!t and the wife was there to checkmate him blah blah blah and keep him grounded. The caller still didn't buy it. He gave a situation, he lived in an area with bad roads/drainage [that could be anywhere in Lagos] and decided a sport utility vehicle (SUV) would be the best type of car to purchase. The wife objected and called it a waste of money. He knew if he got the car there wouldn't be peace in his house as long as he had it. The caller added, "I'm tired". Although the caller gave an instance it was obvious this was one too many. Even if the wife had a point their being incompatible won't allow her to pass it across in a way it wouldn't threaten his peace. There are ways some wives would talk to their husbands, make suggestions, and the guy would believe it was his own decision. He would walk around satisfied like the man of the house while the wife would sit behind pulling the strings. A nagging wife would demand an amount of money from her husband and he would say he was short on cash, his mistress would know how to present it to him and he would drop double the amount the wife asked.
Each man would have his way to deal with a female that loves to nag, but one thing is certain and that is it would lead to the failure of the relationship/marriage. A failed marriage isn't only divorce, it also includes the death of love and affection in the home. A guy got married to a beautiful intelligent girl. She was also a barrister and guess what? She could also nag. No guy would want to f@*k with a lawyer/barrister that nags...you've lost the case before you commit the crime. The guy became happiest when he was at work and dreaded going home because his wife was ready to nag him till he pretends he was asleep. He decided to get himself wasted before going home...just drink and smoke weed, that way he would have no idea what the wife was nagging about and have a wonderful smile on his face. His wife began to nag about that unaware the only way to stop him from drinking was to take a moment and shut up about his drinking/smoking habit. He got bored of the whole ish and left his home. He went to a friend's place, switched off his phone and stayed there for three days without any contact with the outside world. No one except the friend knew where he was. The wife began to panic. She called his friends, family members and work colleagues but no one knew where he was. By the time he came home she was intelligent enough to know what drove him away and apologised. She said "I didn't know it had that much impact on you". If I were the guy, I would have spent a whole week away.
"A nagging wife will rot the bones, kill the spirit and dry up any creative thinking. She will drive a man into the desert to free his mind of the constant drip. She will torture him slowly and he will die a slow painful death".
If you nag STOP, no good thing comes out of it and the easiest way to know if you nag is to ask. A lot of people won't get married because of that and those that nag their way to the altar won't have a happy marriage. If you do want to stop the act adopt patience and know when to pass your point across. Maybe I should write another piece on that...
Sunday, November 20, 2011
KevinWithanL
I began writing since...can't remember. I would scribble experiences and give them titles like "A White Man With Tribal Marks". Then someone came along and suggested I open a blog and I did, a year later I'm still blogging and loving it. I see it as my vault of experiences and I gave myself one rule- never mention names. That aside, I began to read works by other bloggers and one that caught my attention was kevinwithanl.wordpress.com
KevinWithanL would have to be the most interesting blogger I know and definitely one of the most talented writers. The interesting part is not solely based on what he writes but you can't help but wonder what goes on in his head. Like everyone with above average talent it was obvious he had issues and it became apparent with each post. This was someone whose first posts were inspirational words from Peju Oyemade...months later he was talking about how he fucked a girl he met on Twitter. To be honest, that was when he became really interesting. He did the one thing I wouldn't do- mention names- and when you have as many followers he had on twitter that doesn't sound like a nice idea. I remember he became a threading topic once on twitter [in Lagos sha]. The next thing I observed was he "imploded", this occurs when you make a sudden drastic decision. This was common with celebrities who find the price of fame to high to pay, like when Britney Spears cut her off her hair for no reason. Or when Michael Jackson...wow! Feels like he kept imploding throughout his career. First, his twitter handle @KevinWithanL got deleted or something and that was the medium he used he spreading his word. Then he wrote what he claimed would be his last post on his blog [I know he will be back, people like him love attention]. I have to add that was his best piece I've read. That guy is a genius.
The truth is, it is soo easy for writers to get carried away with what they choose to reveal. Kanye West once rapped "I'm on TV talking like it is just you and me". The same feeling applies to writers, you pick up your pen and as you express yourself you believe your audience are only those you have in mind. Before you know it, even those you never thought could read have accessed it. What you wrote can now be freely taken out of context. Another of my favorite blogger @Keet_kat pweetytales.blogspot.com wrote her last post "Encore" would be her last, she doesn't want "to spill her guts out anymore".
Then one thought came to mind...was this the effect of excess self-disclosure. These bloggers including myself literally type our life out for all to read and most of them don't know the consequences. Self-disclosure is really important in creating a strong PERSONAL relationship. You feel a bond with anyone you self-disclose to...now imagine self-disclosing to thousands of people who really don't give a sh!t about you or what you revealed from your past. You write "I think I love this girl" and someone responds "try saying that after you f@*k her". On the long run, stuffs that leaves a vacuum in your self-appraisal. Your personal life become their entertainment, KevinWithanL becomes Nigeria's funniest blogger and with such label every other thing you want to disclose about yourself isn't relevant if it isn't funny. By describing yourself your audience defines you.
Still, I love blogging and bloggers out there and damn! there are a lot. I have to admit, even if these guys stopped writing I doubt they would be missed.
That is just life, no one is indispensable...there is always someone to carry the torch.
KevinWithanL would have to be the most interesting blogger I know and definitely one of the most talented writers. The interesting part is not solely based on what he writes but you can't help but wonder what goes on in his head. Like everyone with above average talent it was obvious he had issues and it became apparent with each post. This was someone whose first posts were inspirational words from Peju Oyemade...months later he was talking about how he fucked a girl he met on Twitter. To be honest, that was when he became really interesting. He did the one thing I wouldn't do- mention names- and when you have as many followers he had on twitter that doesn't sound like a nice idea. I remember he became a threading topic once on twitter [in Lagos sha]. The next thing I observed was he "imploded", this occurs when you make a sudden drastic decision. This was common with celebrities who find the price of fame to high to pay, like when Britney Spears cut her off her hair for no reason. Or when Michael Jackson...wow! Feels like he kept imploding throughout his career. First, his twitter handle @KevinWithanL got deleted or something and that was the medium he used he spreading his word. Then he wrote what he claimed would be his last post on his blog [I know he will be back, people like him love attention]. I have to add that was his best piece I've read. That guy is a genius.
The truth is, it is soo easy for writers to get carried away with what they choose to reveal. Kanye West once rapped "I'm on TV talking like it is just you and me". The same feeling applies to writers, you pick up your pen and as you express yourself you believe your audience are only those you have in mind. Before you know it, even those you never thought could read have accessed it. What you wrote can now be freely taken out of context. Another of my favorite blogger @Keet_kat pweetytales.blogspot.com wrote her last post "Encore" would be her last, she doesn't want "to spill her guts out anymore".
Then one thought came to mind...was this the effect of excess self-disclosure. These bloggers including myself literally type our life out for all to read and most of them don't know the consequences. Self-disclosure is really important in creating a strong PERSONAL relationship. You feel a bond with anyone you self-disclose to...now imagine self-disclosing to thousands of people who really don't give a sh!t about you or what you revealed from your past. You write "I think I love this girl" and someone responds "try saying that after you f@*k her". On the long run, stuffs that leaves a vacuum in your self-appraisal. Your personal life become their entertainment, KevinWithanL becomes Nigeria's funniest blogger and with such label every other thing you want to disclose about yourself isn't relevant if it isn't funny. By describing yourself your audience defines you.
Still, I love blogging and bloggers out there and damn! there are a lot. I have to admit, even if these guys stopped writing I doubt they would be missed.
That is just life, no one is indispensable...there is always someone to carry the torch.
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