I Need Me a Super Duper Injunction

Read about injunctions and super-injunctions and I still don't know how it was suppose to work. For those of you who have no idea I'll use an example of a footballer who cheated on his wife with a TV star, Imogen Thomas. Let us assume the name of the footballer was Ryan Giggs (for simplicity), he filed for a super injunction making it an offence to have his name published in the media or anywhere else in the UK (except Scotland, I think) for having the affair for privacy sake. The stupid part to me is that everybody knows Ryan Giggs was messing around with Imogen but as long as you were in England you have to pretend you had no idea. Then it was all on twitter and the next action was to arrest the whistle blowers on twitter (make that over 50,000).
The whole super injunction reminds me of hypocrites and fake friends who have opposite ways of behaving in one's presence and absence. When I think about it I don't need a super injunction, I already got one and so do you. What is the point of filing an injunction for you messing up when those close to you won't tell you not to make you feel bad and those not close to you...well, you don't care about what they say.

Buka Pt. 3: This is the final Part

Habits are difficult to stop. Even after being hospitalised for food poisoning I couldn't stop patronising bukas. I told myself, "better luck next time". I became a 'food inspector' whenever I went out to eat, asking all sorts of questions before buying. I had a close call at one buka one day...
Senatorial Elections were supposed to hold on a Saturday 2011 and due to poor planning it was cancelled and rescheduled around midday. A curfew had been imposed for the duration of the election exercise and that also had to be lifted. A lot of these Bukas were confused if they should still open for service or not. A lot that opened suffered the consequences and had enough food that lasted to Monday.
I went to one of those Bukas on that Monday and ordered for fufu with egusi mixed with draw. That woman had mind as she served me fufu that was brown in colour. Before I could say a word she said, "Na today own". I proved her that I had been a buka patron from infant and analysed why the meal was days old- from the fufu to the softness of the beef. The men I met there stopped eating and had their eyes on the woman. She couldn't deny it any longer and began to apologise. I felt like a buka hero that day.
With all my ups and downs with bukas I felt what could possibly go wrong? I found out a month later, appendicitis. As I was being wheeled to surgery my mind flashed to the various bukas I had been to. Some get addicted to alcohol, mine was only buka and I had to go through all these. The doctor said it was about to rupture in 3 different places. All these experiences gave me an idea, open my food poisoning-appendicitis free Buka. Maybe that was my calling.

Buka Pt. 2: N5,000 for N150

I discovered a Calabar Kitchen in my area. To be honest the girls there were the only thing Calabar about the buka, the food was so so. I guessed since I preferred the taste of buka meals dating a Calabar girl that worked in one would be the 'perfect match'. I normally don't do area p but the idea of maybe, just maybe, eating free food would be great. There was one major problem, their food didn't make sense notwithstanding time of day or night. There was a time I thought stones were part of the ingredients. I found difficulty eating but as my eyes caught the Calabar girl I smiled cause I knew I was making progress in establishing our 'relationship'.
The food never felt well in my system and every time I left there I would branch to a pharmacy and buy capsules of tetracycline and flagyl for the stomach ache I anticipated. Not all relationships were perfect anyway. One night the ache began and I had no capsule left, I was in serious pain and all I could do was blame myself for eating badly prepared food. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital being treated for food poisoning. A nurse gave me the medical bill, N5,000 for eating a N150 food. I pitied myself and told myself no buka for me again...who was I kidding?

Buka Pt. 1: N50 rice, N30 Beans, N40 Plaintain, 2 Pomo and 3 beef

If I am to make a guess I'll say over 90 percent of my meals were eaten in fast food joints or Bukas. Name anyone in Lagos, I know them all. Iya Rose, Iya Bola, Iya Segun, Mama Pato, Iya Rose Powerline, Calabar Kitchen, HomeMade, Sharp Corner, Mama Saudi, Mama Paul, Elewa Ghanyin...the list is endless. If you ask anyone paranoid about eating outside their homes they would obviously list dangers associated with this habit. But I have to admit it was a very good/bad habit to stop. There was this satisfying feeling knowing whenever you wake up or whenever you were hungry there was a nice plate waiting for you someone as long as you could afford it. Which wife or husband could go through the stress of preparing Rice for you early Monday money and fry plaintain as well. In short, which loving wife can you tell you want N50 rice, N30 Beans, N40 Plaintain, 2 Pomo and 3 beef for breakfast. It saves cooking time and washing plates which I detest.
I asked myself if I was ever going to stop If I ever got married and I doubt it. I realised no matter how much a girl cooked for me I still craved for the buka taste. The difference is clear just like Jollof rice cooked with fire wood and those with a cooking gas. I've made up my mind, Buka food na d main thing. Until...

Congratulations

I had a dream my ex got married. It felt so real that I had no idea when I was awake. My heart felt heavy and I had to question why I was in that state. It was over, maybe, who knows? I had to rationalise and fast...I didn't want to have to sing 'Congratulations' if still had feelings for her and my dream was a premonition of what was about to happen soon. 'Congratulations' by Blue October was in my all time 'love' songs about a guy that finally expressed his feelings to a girl on her wedding day and gave her his 'heart' as a gift.

I asked myself if the relationship was indeed over by replaying in my head the reason for break-up but the disc of my memory was bad. I couldn't blame it, I remember I put in effort to bury her deep in my unconscious. I couldn't remember anything specific.

Another question was, shouldn't I be happy for her? After all she was getting married (if she was). I guess I'll find out sooner than latter. I however believe it was because it appeared in my dream that was making me give it that much attention. After all it was all a dream. Few days ago I told a girl to listen to the song 'Congratulations' to make her feel better. Now I have it on repeat. Decided to include the lyrics.

'Congratulations' by Blue October ft. Imogen Heap
Is that seat taken?

Congratulations
Would you like to take a walk with me?
My mind it kind of goes fast
I'll try to slow it down for you
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart can't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu

I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. Him.
My words they don't come out right
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I've wanted to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart
My heart can't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
And I can't change this
I can never take it back
But now I can't change your mind
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
And I can't take this
I can never take this back
But now I can't change your mind
Can't change your mind
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
Can't change you mind
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
Just make it go away
Make it go away
Please.