Sunday, February 20, 2011

My Relationship Vitae (RV)

I figured out being in a relationship was similar to being employed or seeking for employment. Even when you've got one you find yourself on the lookout for a better offer, you know, that one with a better pay package. So you have your curriculum vitae (CV) prepared just in case. I also figured, why not have a relationship vitae (RV), also, just in case there was someone somewhere out there that could make your life more pleasant to live. So I'm going to be the first to write my RV and I hope I get 'employed' by a hot chic. Instead of me talking too much, I could just say "Hey! Here's my RV, call me if you are interested."

Ade Moss's son Relationship Vitae (RV)

Objective: To be the best boyfriend I could be. I can't promise to be the shoulder you'll cry on because as far as I'm around you won't have any reason to cry.

* Genotype & Blood group: AA, O
* Short sighted
* Tall (enough)
* Looks... I tried

* Don't drink but can drink
* Don't smoke, won't smoke
* Get bored easily
* Flirt

* Music

* Liars
* Thieves
* Bariga
* Traffic hold-up
* Okada

Summary of skills:
* Witty and funny
* Punctual during dates
* Ability to say the truth without being honest
* Credit worthy, so if I borrow change from you be sure I'll pay you back
* Understanding, so if I see you in bed naked with another guy be assured I'll ask questions first
* How to dump a girl by making her 'do the dumping'.
* Sexual abilities...but is there need to brag.

Past experiences:
* Hope, Part-time (about 8 Months)
Description: As a part-time boyfriend my services were needed when the full-time boyfriend went on long trips to make money. I learnt a girl doesn't need a logical reason to cheat.
* 'Lere Babe, Full-time (2 weeks)
Description: Didn't know she would accept to date me so when she agreed I was caught by surprise and didn't know what to do. My job as a boyfriend was to call her frequently and tell her she was beautiful.
* 'Lere Babe 2, Full-time (3 months)
Description: My job as a boyfriend was to walk by her side and raise her self-esteem that Yes! She also had a boyfriend. My services were no longer needed when she decided to expand and thought she could get any guy. She crashed and had remained single since.
* [Any], duration not defined
Description: I was a full-time paying mayee. If not that it was too early I would have paid her bride price. My job taught me a fool for love is a fool forever.

* Watched all episodes of 'The Wonder Years' where I learnt it was at most times impossible to understand a girl you love. There was a Winnie Cooper in every girl.
* 500 Days of Summer, where I learnt all because you love someone does not mean they should love you back.
* Bill Clinton, how to look into anybody's eyes and say "I did not have sexual relations with that woman".
* Beauty and the Beast, learnt even if you are ugly a girl will fall for you as long as you own a castle.

I doubt any of them would say anything positive about me, still references available upon request.


  1. lol.. maybe u shld send this to vanguard or punch newspaper. I'm pretty sure theirs a segment for people looking for dates where they get to advertise themselves :p

  2. That's a wonderful idea. I should do that but I'll probably get responses from 'retired players' if you know what I mean, who just wants someone young to train with. I hope I won't be see as desperate, "All my life I've been good but now, I'm thinking, What the Hell?"