How to GIVE EXCUSES and NOT CHOCOLAtES this Valentine

Valentine is around the corner and we have to be honest with ourselves. Not everyone is capable of making it worthwhile for our girlfriend/boyfriend for reasons including we have to many to 'em [and don't know who to spend it with] and finances. That is why I'm suggesting excuses to give and not chocolates this valentine. Below are ranked excuses that could make you scale through the period [with spending next to nothing and spending time with one without feeling bad about the others].

#8. Luckily, Valentine 2011 is on a Monday so using 'I'm busy at...' as an excuse for not fulfilling a date you supposedly plan is not a bad idea. I mean, isn't Monday supposed to be the busiest day of the week. It should also work if you rather be with someone that would spend more on you or you know you would have more fun with.

#7. You know how difficult it is to give someone a birthday present after their birthday, it is with the same difficulty it is for the same person to ask for it. Valentine 2011 is on a Monday, let your Val know you want to celebrate it during the coming weekend. Weekend comes, the pressure's gone and at that moment spending it alone together won't be a bad idea, and hey! more excuses below to give.

#6. You could just have a fight and break-up. Then you make-up afterwards, that's always an option.

#5. Unusual lies work like magic for any situation. Example of why you wouldn't be around with an unusual lie, "I am not going to be around 'cause the Nigerian embassy recently called that my cousin had just been evacuated from Cario and I have to pick him/her. [We] were also asked to provide a van to assist with the belongings at..." Truth is Nigerians are being evacuated from Egypt presently and who would doubt any Nigerian that they have a relative anywhere in the world especially in Egypt.

#4. There are lots of [expensive] shows coming up during this period and it won't be bad to take your Val there with you BUT there are countless reasons you can't. Let your Val be satisfied with the thought of you wanting to take her there without making it happen.
Call your Val's close friend [the one you know can't keep secrets] and ask if he/she knows how to get two tickets to one of these shows. The friend would no doubt hint your Val [thinking it was for her] who would be satisfied with the anticipation but you would act ignorant. On Valentine you could actually do less but once you mention you intended to take her to a huge show she wouldn't find it hard to believe. You could even crown it with your futile effort about the tickets and use her friend as reference.

#3. "It's a pagan holiday and my Pastor preached against it or [you] read it on a religious pamphlet. I have decided to stop celebrating it." Works better if the girl has been forming 'church girl'. Plus, this February [2011] is a one month fasting period for the Redeemed Christian Church of God members, cook something up. If you are a muslim, even great, they do not celebrate valentine.

#2. "Remember when CBN said we should update our account, apparently I didn't [or didn't do it well] 'cause now I don't have access to my account and that ruined the plans I had...we COULD use your money" The point is you don't have access into your account, no money, no Val.

#1. "I'm broke". There's no statement that is more acceptable than your financial status. The rich use it as an excuse, the poor have no excuse.

Happy Valentine 2011.