Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Somewhere In the Past
“She was covered in leather and gold, 21 years old
I lost her in the cold
It’s unfair, she’s out there…
Little Miss. Perfect sitting at the train stop,
Red Nike high top listening to hip-hop
While we were waiting, started conversating
Before I got her name along came a train…
She’s somewhere in
I wonder will we ever meet again
I hope we do”
Bruno Mars, ‘Somewhere in
Sure we’ve been in situations where we love or the least, fancy someone we met/saw once, never to see them again. Our minds play out the scenes of what life would have been with them but the most fulfilling part would be seeing them again (little bit frustrating though). I was having one of those uneventful days; those kinds of days that made you look forward to sleep. I decided to take a walk to waste the day and after half an hour walking up and down streets I saw her for the first time. A glance placed me in a trance and I knew she was “the one”. Seriously it was like I had found the meaning of life, the epitome of existence. She was two houses away from where I was, just standing by the road side and I began to walk towards her. I was going to use all my punch lines leaving her with no choice but to fall for me. I was barely six steps away when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned and saw ‘someone I knew (that was when he lost the title of ‘my friend’). He was about to start a conversation about a party when I cut him short; the girl I was going to meet was more important. I turned and didn’t see her standing there. I was shocked ‘cause she was out of my sight for five seconds at most and now she was gone. I ran to the spot she stood and did a 360 but still no sign of her. ‘The person I knew’ was looking at me sill standing where I left him, confused, I respond by giving him the middle finger. I was dead in my heart. I ran into the compound of the house she was standing in front of- hoping I would see her. I met a small boy about 2 years old, I asked him, “Did you see any girl?”, and the response he gave was true to his IQ, “A girl.” I slapped him (in my head) and circled the house before I began banging on doors. Occupants were eager to give me response because of my state. I was panting and sweating profusely and also I kept making up stories like “she dropped her phone and wanted to give it back to her” but they had no idea of who she was. I went to the next house, and the one after that without a trace. I knew she couldn’t have gone far and I didn’t want to admit that I had lost her. I cursed into the wind gradually facing reality. She was perfect, she was too good to be true and maybe she was, but no, I saw this one and her face would remain in my head for the rest of my life.
I was strolling miserably back to my house when I saw ‘the person I knew’. He was asking questions to get words out of my mouth but my attention span was at the lowest. “So you mean you are not coming for the party, lots of girls would be there?” I had a gleam of hope. The venue was about five houses from where I saw the girl and there was possibility of her being there. “Let’s go there,” I said with a smile. It made sense to me, the girl motive for coming to my area must have been the party ‘cause I was sure of one thing, it wasn’t everyday you saw beautiful girls in my area. ‘The person I knew’ tried to boost my interest by filling me with stories about some wild girls from a private university and how they were the life of the party. Then I asked, “Have you been there?” “No,” he replied. I wasn’t surprised he talked confidently about a party he hadn’t been to, guys are fond of doing that. We got there to hear a name on every guy’s lips, ‘Susan’. Apparently Susan had taken the party to an x-rated level. She was wasted and had taken the responsibility of sexually gratifying guys at the party. I wouldn’t deny that for some unknown reasons I didn’t think that might be the girl I saw earlier, and so I became curious to see Susan. Hearsay and whispers led me to the bathroom where I heard she was. I waited by a corner hoping she would walk out any time soon. Five minutes passed which by the way seemed like an hour and I grew impatient. I walked to the door of the bathroom, checked my rear before opening the door to walk in fast enough not to be spotted. I didn’t want to be seen as an opportunist. I gave a huge sigh of relief as I saw her, she wasn’t the one. Susan was on the bathroom floor, barely conscious. I heard her mutter something so I moved closer, “I won’t forgive you Lola,” was what she said. “Are you OK?” I asked ignorantly. To be honest I knew she wasn’t. She was in a position where anyone could take advantage of her and my guess was confirmed when she added. “She drugged me”. I knew this wasn’t my battle and this was her mother, father, of boyfriend’s problem.
I hadn’t seen the person I hoped to and I wasn’t interested in the party and decided to leave. The party was alright but it as one too many. The same people, alcohol, songs, and dance moves. I was about stepping out when I spotted her and a smile appeared on my face, she was with three other girls getting into a cab. I wasn’t going to lose her this time. I ran to stand in front of the car to get their attention before I walked to the side to open the door to the backseat where she sat. “I love you,” I said and the girls began to laugh. I became specific and pointed at her. “Yes, you. I can’t just let you go like that.” Her friends couldn’t control themselves as they laughed, even the driver joined in the humour. “I’m sorry but I don’t know you,” she said smiling. “I know but I know you, not exactly, but… the thing is I just saw you and you are the most beautiful being I have ever seen in my life.” Her friends began to scream in excitement, all part of girlish youthful exuberance. I told her my name and she gave me hers, Lola. “What!” I exclaimed. “Do you by any chance know Susan?” I had to ask to clear all doubts about what popped in my head. Her response shocked me more, “Don’t mind that bitch, I’m sure I gave her what she deserved.” Her friends nodded in agreement. My shock turned into confusion, “What did she do to you to be heartless enough to drug her?” Her friends’ reaction showed they weren’t aware of that piece of information. “How did you know?” Lola asked. One of her friends continued the conversation which by now had turned to an interrogation. “Lola how could you do this? No wonder Susan was acting all skanky, I thought the hot slap you gave her was all you did. You actually went ahead despite what we talked about.” The mood changed and they all alighted from the car. My eyes were still on her- an eclipse had formed over the sunshine I once saw in the girl. She wasn’t waived by what her friends were saying instead she was justifying what she did.
I stood aside, spectating, with the crowd that had formed as her friends rained on her with curses and occasional slaps while she attempted to make them see reason with what she did. Apparently the girls all attended the same tertiary institution. Lola had accused Susan of sleeping with her boyfriend back in school and decided to take her revenge by drugging her while instigating guys to sleep with her at the party. She went further by convincing the other girls to leave the party without her due to the disgrace she had brought to their clique. She had told her friends about her plan back in school but they believed they talked her out of it. The more they argued at the top of their lungs secrets were revealed carelessly and Lola was the victim. From what I heard, I rationalized that her girl losing her virginity at the age of thirteen had to be reason for being the way she was. Still, it was the most callous thing I believe a girl could do and in my head I blamed her ‘friends’ (had to put it in quote). I questioned why girls couldn’t adopt the ‘leave no man behind’ mentality guys had and if there was any disagreement, trash it behind closed doors.
I walked home deep in thought. Would it have made me feel better if I didn’t know the person I felt positive about would be the same person that would make me feel hate still exist in this world? I couldn’t answer if the pain of knowing was any good or still being ignorant. Maybe that was what most people risk not knowing when they never see someone they have this sudden rush of affection for never to see again. Would James Blunt have penned down a beautiful song like ‘You are Beautiful’ if he knew the girl for more than a glance? Sure these things we will never know but I was unfortunately opportune to. To be honest with you, every day I still look out for Lola. The Lola that stood two houses away, the same Lola that was few steps away, the one I knew nothing about except from her beauty and grace. I guess you guys are lucky cause you might still find ‘the one’ somewhere else but mine is somewhere in the past and how can I get there?