Friday, November 26, 2010

Elements of the Best Pick-up line: Creativity

I know a lot of people who believe in primacy effect when it came to creating a lasting impression. These are people who believe the first impression mattered a lot and when it came to picking up girls, it was also the same. The perception of yourself that you leave was important, if not all that mattered, from the initial encounter. One of the obstacles was that you do not know when you were going to meet that one person so like the Boys Scout you have to be always prepared. Truth is we can’t always be ad there are times we just have to be ourselves which isn’t always the best. Personally, I will not claim I’m good at chatting up girls but what I’m good at is creating a lasting impression. Since Omotola Jalade believed she could sing I figured out I might as well be an authority in this art of chatting up girls. Then again, being turned down several times (and [Any]) put me in a position to know how not to pick up girls.
Lecturers of the University of Lagos had been on strike for over 3 months and during that period students including me had to stay at home doing nothing productive. Yes some lost their virginity others got pregnant (that’s for another day) but I did nothing just waking, eating, and sleeping. I made a mistake of having a long distance relationship so no… Anyway the strike was called off but students were reluctant to move back into campus and so for the first few days those of us on campus were bored stiff. I realised not only had I forgotten what I was supposed to have learnt that semester but also I had completely lost touch on how to chat up girls. I wasn’t a don before so imagine, I was now worse. The fact was few people in school then was bored and I couldn’t even chat up a bored chic. I preferred to stay in my room and play Need for Speed.
I walked my friend to a cyber cafe one afternoon where I just sat shifting my gaze from the four corners of the room before a girl walked in, She sat opposite us and I guessed she noticed my eyes were on her. She wasn’t that beautiful or anything but she had a unique look. She caught me staring and smiled. That was my cue, I should have jumped right in and start a conversation but I was too slow. In short, I had no idea what to do. My friend was oblivious of what was going on and for the next 45 minutes or so that was how it was. I couldn’t muster the confidence to say one word. I left the cafe with my friend feeling fucked within. I told my friend what transpired while he was busy on his system and he laughed, not because I didn’t talk to the girl but he thought I was joking about being unable to talk to her. The guy had always believed I was this mack and I didn’t blame him, it wasn’t everyday you see a twenty-tree years old male virgin. He told me he wanted to have a good look at the girl so we walked back while I stood outside shamefully as he stepped in. He walked out after his assessment and burst into laughter, he was truly convinced I was pretending about not being able to talk to her. Standing there I saw it as my second chance to get to talk to this not so beautiful girl but with a unique look. I knew I had to do something so I went back in time for inspiration, old school style.
I asked him for a sheet of paper and a pen, I needed to write a love letter. This guy still thought I was joking and what I was doing was one Casanova manoeuvre. He had paper but no pen. I walked into the cafe and gestured I needed a pen and she pointed to one close to her system. I thought about what to write, ‘roses are red, violets are blue…’ but I guessed that wouldn’t work. I decided to use the one thing I had passion for, music. I wrote “My life is brilliant, my love is pure. I have seen an angel of that I’m sure and I wouldn’t want to leave here singing James Blunt’s ‘You are Beautiful’ in my head for not getting to know your name. So what is your name? This is my number…” I gave her the note which she responded with a smile and I walked out. My guy kept laughing and asked me what I wrote and before I could fill him in a text came in on my phone. “You should have asked. My name is…” And that was it, I could sense the real me coming back. I walked backed into the cafe and we spent the rest of the day together. She was interesting but she wasn’t my type. I never saw her again after that week and didn’t bother to call and neither did she, her number must have gone missing on my phonebook. One thing I am sure of is that she would remember me whenever she heard James Blunt, especially “You are Beautiful”.

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