story of the [year]: The [D] Project: You Can't Please Anyone (pt. 12 of 13)

[D]'s grandfather died and she had to travel to her hometown. The family decided to bury the guy few days after his death. She had to leave unexpectedly for a week and I saw it as a set back knowing she would only travel to return to my room. I would have preferred if she had sorted her accommodation issue out before the trip. The morning she was to leave my friend called me, the guy that was willing to drop the keys to his place for her to stay. He returned earlier than expected and said we could come over to pick up the keys. In my mind...I was like "Perfect Timing".

[D] was packing some items she wanted to take with her to her hometown when I told her. I expected her to be excited but it was far from it, she changed it to something else. She said I must be glad I was getting rid of her and should confess I had wanted her to leave from the first day I saw her. I had to let her know whatever I felt didn't matter as long as my actions didn't say that. She didn't lack food, neither did I call her names nor disrespect her. Let’s be honest, I wasn’t nice all the time and that was just being real. On top of that I wasn't pushing her out on the streets, I got a place for her to stay for free in Lagos. She could use the reminder of the N100,000 for sanitary pad for all I care. I had to make her understand she should see it as an early Christmas gift, getting a full furnished apartment for free in Lagos and it wasn’t from a relative/boyfriend. Before she travelled we reached an agreement. She would move into the place I got after she returned from her grand dad burial because honestly, I craved for my space.

Now, there is a trait I have, I am inquisitive. I also have this instinct that makes me take actions I had no idea why, only for me to realise in future it was best for me. I decided to check out [D]'s Facebook wall. We weren't friends neither did we have any mutual friend but something urged me to check it while she was away in Delta state for the burial. I knew her name and hoped that was what she used for her username. I recognised her face on her profile picture. I read the last update on her wall...

"Am sick of human beings,life is ok cos I said so,imagine the place am staying,d guy dere is makin advances n trying 2 harrase me sexually,imagine,I need a house in lagos,although I dnt v d money but I need 2 see d house 1st"

Two minutes lated she updated her Facebook wall as if she wasn't getting the desired response...

"I hate it wen som pple feel u are d only 1 facin trials n v issues,cos I v my pAins n problems 2,notin is worse dan bin a girl n dnt a place of ur own n guys are tryin 2 harrase you cos you are stayin in deir fAmily house."

The first action I took was to save the message on my phone and sent it to her friend, [Any]. I also sent it to [D] with a caption, "this is why you will no longer stay with me. When you get back to Lagos, pack your stuffs and get the f*ck out of my house".

Lesson 4: YOU CAN'T PLEASE ANYONE

[D] was a girl I allowed to stay in my house despite the fact that I didn't know her. We didn't even have mutual friends on Facebook (so you should know what that meant). The only link was a girl who claimed [D] was her friend, [Any]. A friend I later found out she didn't know her that well except their beds were close during their stay 3 weeks stay in NYSC camp. During her stay with me her friend didn't show up once. She didn't even drop by to see how she was coping or was present for the introduction, despite her house was close to mine. Like I said, I wasn't surprised because I knew [Any] to be that selfish and heartless. Not once did she call me to know how her friend was coping...she just took everything for granted. So when I found out [D] wrote trash on Facebook about "trying to harass her" I knew she was referring to me. I would have ignored but I knew the mentality [D] had. She had so many stories about guys trying to rape her and I wouldn’t want to be part of the statistics considering the future I plan to have.

I had to let [Any] know because I wanted to kick her out. That way, if anything happened to her [Any] won't list my place as her last known address. I was just being carefully. The least [Any] could have done was to shut up and keep silent as she had done during [D]'s entire stay. I slept/woke up and found insults on my phone from [Any}.

It was as if [Any] took her time to compose insults. She began with left over insults from the university to [D]'s issue. There was no degrading word she didn’t use to describe me and said may God touch my heart. That was one point in my life I felt abused because a selfless act was rewarded with curses. I was dumbfounded because I wasn't expecting her to comment. I felt the message was self explanatory and her silence all the while [D] was at my place to continue. I have to say at this point, out of all the girls I knew that saw the message, only [Any] thought I harassed her, other girls laughed it off.

It really got me thinking and my conclusion was you can please ANYONE. This was a girl I fed in my house and not once did I make her feel uncomfortable. Days that I wasn't around she walked into the kitchen to prepare food. She was comfortable enough to have male visitors and invited a guy into my room.

I knew why she wrote that, she wanted attention, and money. That was when I realised that was how [Any] got to know about her plight in the first place. Anytime she was in a fix, she would broadcast it for everyone to see with the hope someone responded. [Any] wasn’t her last hope in getting accommodation, she was the one stupid enough to respond and I was the one to carry the cross.

Now, her so-called friend who knew sh!t about her decided to use that as an opportunity to diss me. I told her (and I fucking mean it). If she doesn't apologise I would f*ck her up. I know me; I don't have to have it in my mind. An opportunity would present itself and even if all I have to do was to sh!t on her to heal her of a terminal illness, I will rather sh!t and eat it in her face. I'm nice, but if you cross the line I let you know. If you continue to prove stubborn them it's on. Because I'm never too proud to apologise.

[D] avoided coming to my place when she returned and that only showed guilt. She finally showed up with a guy two weeks after she got to Lagos. I'm sure she must have told the guy I was the one trying to harass her. I had nothing to tell her and she had nothing to say. It was an experience that taught me a valuable lesson.

[Any] on the other hand only wanted to know anything sexual happened [D] and I, like that was the most important part of the story, BITCH.