You'll always remain special.
Abidemi 'Bmars' Olaoye
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Happy Birthday Bmars
You'll always remain special.
Abidemi 'Bmars' Olaoye
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Poor Romantic Guy
In one of my earlier posts I related creativity with being romantic. A romantic girl/guy was a creative one. Creative in the choice of words with actions and when/how to express it. It is can't be learnt, you had to be born with it. Books might tell you giving flowers to a girl was romantic but not all girls would find that romantic. Anyway, I want to write about two life experiences about guys that attempted to be romantic by being creative, those experiences inspired me to write this piece.
There was a late night show on radio. The kind of show where the host's playlist was made up of classic blues and timeless beautiful serenades that would definitely make you think of a loved one (if you had any) while you hugged your pillow. As usual listeners would call in, make a shout out to a loved one and probably a request. A guy called in, he told the host how wonderful the show was...blah blah blah, and shared a problem. He said he had a girlfriend and they had a fight recently. She had decided to stop picking the guy's calls and never returned his. He requested the host call the girl on his behalf and apologise. The host obliged, got her number and called her on air. After few rings she picked up. He introduced himself and she said she knew who he was. He followed that with a question, "Someone requested I call you. He is someone that loves you very much and said you love him too. He also said you guys' relationship had been on for a while. Guess who the person was?" The girl laughed, that showed she was touched and mentioned the name. The sad part was she didn't mention the name of the guy that called in, it was another guy's name she said. The host stuttered for a while and informed her she was wrong and mentioned the name of the guy. The girl didn't take it lightly, she began to diss the guy that requested the host call her. She painted the guy a stalker that couldn't come to terms she wasn't interested in him. Till the last song played, subsequent callers had to sympathise with the guy. His saving grace was it was on the radio he shamed himself.
The second experience was a guy that decided to throw a surprise party for his girlfriend. He invited her friends and his to celebrate with her. He got a nice hotel for the venue and made sure he got everything she loved. The girl arrived and she was overtly excited. Everyone smiled, even on the faces of girls with envy in their eyes. An hour later the guy signalled the dj to cut the music and held the microphone to make a speech. He called the birthday girl to the centre of the venue for all to see. He confessed his undying love for her and went on a knee to propose. The girl responded, "I can't marry you, it is not as if I didn't tell you before we began dating. I told you then so what made you feel I have changed my mind? A party won't make me change my mind to consider getting married to you." Everyone felt the guy's pain as she strolled out of the party. That was how the party and relationship ended.
There was a late night show on radio. The kind of show where the host's playlist was made up of classic blues and timeless beautiful serenades that would definitely make you think of a loved one (if you had any) while you hugged your pillow. As usual listeners would call in, make a shout out to a loved one and probably a request. A guy called in, he told the host how wonderful the show was...blah blah blah, and shared a problem. He said he had a girlfriend and they had a fight recently. She had decided to stop picking the guy's calls and never returned his. He requested the host call the girl on his behalf and apologise. The host obliged, got her number and called her on air. After few rings she picked up. He introduced himself and she said she knew who he was. He followed that with a question, "Someone requested I call you. He is someone that loves you very much and said you love him too. He also said you guys' relationship had been on for a while. Guess who the person was?" The girl laughed, that showed she was touched and mentioned the name. The sad part was she didn't mention the name of the guy that called in, it was another guy's name she said. The host stuttered for a while and informed her she was wrong and mentioned the name of the guy. The girl didn't take it lightly, she began to diss the guy that requested the host call her. She painted the guy a stalker that couldn't come to terms she wasn't interested in him. Till the last song played, subsequent callers had to sympathise with the guy. His saving grace was it was on the radio he shamed himself.
The second experience was a guy that decided to throw a surprise party for his girlfriend. He invited her friends and his to celebrate with her. He got a nice hotel for the venue and made sure he got everything she loved. The girl arrived and she was overtly excited. Everyone smiled, even on the faces of girls with envy in their eyes. An hour later the guy signalled the dj to cut the music and held the microphone to make a speech. He called the birthday girl to the centre of the venue for all to see. He confessed his undying love for her and went on a knee to propose. The girl responded, "I can't marry you, it is not as if I didn't tell you before we began dating. I told you then so what made you feel I have changed my mind? A party won't make me change my mind to consider getting married to you." Everyone felt the guy's pain as she strolled out of the party. That was how the party and relationship ended.
Friday, June 17, 2011
God Said I Should Tell You "Blah Blah Blah..."
Ever seen a message like, "God said I should tell you he has seen you struggling...blah blah blah, SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST OR YOU WILL BE CURSED FOR 13 YEARS". Messages like that play on human emotions, doubt, and the fear of the unknown and were simply written to deceive or defraud. Consciously or unconsciously someone would send this out and a hoax viral begins. People would believe, without an idea if it was true or not. Not to mention where it originated.
There are lots of hoaxes, Corpus Christi about a 'Gay Jesus' movie; Water left in a plastic bottle in a car could cause cancer; Typing your ATM PIN backwards alerts the police; a male whale producing 400 gallons of sperm; Jackie Chan is dead; Will Smith is dead; Lady Gaga is an hermaphrodite... the list is cumulative. It baffles me when I receive such messages from people I thought were intellectuals or would at least google the claim before forwarding it. When faulted, they claim there was nothing to lose by believing the message but that was untrue.
Imagine a message "advising", saying if an individual was alone and about to experience a heart attack he should perform a cough CPR by coughing repeatedly. They claim the coughs would prevent the attack and that claim has no medical backing *dangerous*. Even those hoaxes about "forwarding messages and a person's problem would disappear after receiving a phone call in 15 minutes" is dangerous because it plays on the most important weapon man has, Faith.
I have included websites you could check out and read about the origin of these hoaxes and you would be surprised when you realise some you had believed and obviously laugh at your ignorance... then. And by the way, "I WAS ASKED TO TELL YOU TO CLICK ON THE FACEBOOK ICON AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST AND SHARE IT ON YOUR WALL. IF YOU DO ALL THE HATERS ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST WOULD REVEAL THEMSELVES, IF NOT YOU WILL DIE IN 2 MINUTES."
www.hoaxbusters.org
www.hoax-slayer.com
www.urbanlegends.about.com
There are lots of hoaxes, Corpus Christi about a 'Gay Jesus' movie; Water left in a plastic bottle in a car could cause cancer; Typing your ATM PIN backwards alerts the police; a male whale producing 400 gallons of sperm; Jackie Chan is dead; Will Smith is dead; Lady Gaga is an hermaphrodite... the list is cumulative. It baffles me when I receive such messages from people I thought were intellectuals or would at least google the claim before forwarding it. When faulted, they claim there was nothing to lose by believing the message but that was untrue.
Imagine a message "advising", saying if an individual was alone and about to experience a heart attack he should perform a cough CPR by coughing repeatedly. They claim the coughs would prevent the attack and that claim has no medical backing *dangerous*. Even those hoaxes about "forwarding messages and a person's problem would disappear after receiving a phone call in 15 minutes" is dangerous because it plays on the most important weapon man has, Faith.
I have included websites you could check out and read about the origin of these hoaxes and you would be surprised when you realise some you had believed and obviously laugh at your ignorance... then. And by the way, "I WAS ASKED TO TELL YOU TO CLICK ON THE FACEBOOK ICON AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST AND SHARE IT ON YOUR WALL. IF YOU DO ALL THE HATERS ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST WOULD REVEAL THEMSELVES, IF NOT YOU WILL DIE IN 2 MINUTES."
www.hoaxbusters.org
www.hoax-slayer.com
www.urbanlegends.about.com
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Don't Stop Believing
Just a Benue girl, living in a lonely world, she took an inter state bus going to Lagos...
Her Story
The only possession she had was a backpack filled with hopes and dreams, there was no space to include failure and lots of money.
She was probably in her in mid-twenties but when she spoke you would know she had enough experiences exceeding her age.
She said she came to Lagos to pursue her dream of becoming a superstar like Beyonce or Rihanna and she had a plan how to get to become a superstar.
Her Background
During secondary school she got pregnant and delivered. She had to drop-out and confessed that was the major blow to her academic pursuit. Reading became very difficult. Her family was not supportive so she wrote letter to the state governor of Kogi (not her own state) requesting for financial assistance. She heard the Lagos state governor was a nice guy and travelled down to Lagos to give him a similar letter. She got to the secretariat to drop the letter. With no relative in Lagos she sought refuge in a police station awaiting a quick response from the governor, she got none. A lot happened till she moved to a church and now she wants to take proactive steps to become Beyonce.
Her Plan
She talked about how she needed a pastor, preferably T. B Joshua or Chris Oyakilome, to pray for her and support her financially. Then she would go to Kennis Music and get her record deal. Sounds easy.
The Setback
I didn't hear her sing but from the way she talked, I doubt it. Her intonation alone was too local to be the next Beyonce. She didn't look exposed. She got uncomfortable in the church she was sleeping and walked up to somebody she didn't know for accommodation. The guy suggested she stayed at his place for the meantime and she agreed. One thing I know was that Lagos guys weren't that friendly especially to a broke girl. My fear was lots of guys would exploit her in Lagos and the only soundtracks she might be singing would be in the bedrooms of guys.
That is the down side of hope, either it moves you to your dreams or mislead you. Still we sing, don't stop believing.
Her Story
The only possession she had was a backpack filled with hopes and dreams, there was no space to include failure and lots of money.
She was probably in her in mid-twenties but when she spoke you would know she had enough experiences exceeding her age.
She said she came to Lagos to pursue her dream of becoming a superstar like Beyonce or Rihanna and she had a plan how to get to become a superstar.
Her Background
During secondary school she got pregnant and delivered. She had to drop-out and confessed that was the major blow to her academic pursuit. Reading became very difficult. Her family was not supportive so she wrote letter to the state governor of Kogi (not her own state) requesting for financial assistance. She heard the Lagos state governor was a nice guy and travelled down to Lagos to give him a similar letter. She got to the secretariat to drop the letter. With no relative in Lagos she sought refuge in a police station awaiting a quick response from the governor, she got none. A lot happened till she moved to a church and now she wants to take proactive steps to become Beyonce.
Her Plan
She talked about how she needed a pastor, preferably T. B Joshua or Chris Oyakilome, to pray for her and support her financially. Then she would go to Kennis Music and get her record deal. Sounds easy.
The Setback
I didn't hear her sing but from the way she talked, I doubt it. Her intonation alone was too local to be the next Beyonce. She didn't look exposed. She got uncomfortable in the church she was sleeping and walked up to somebody she didn't know for accommodation. The guy suggested she stayed at his place for the meantime and she agreed. One thing I know was that Lagos guys weren't that friendly especially to a broke girl. My fear was lots of guys would exploit her in Lagos and the only soundtracks she might be singing would be in the bedrooms of guys.
That is the down side of hope, either it moves you to your dreams or mislead you. Still we sing, don't stop believing.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Talent Dey Waste
If you've watched the audition stages of any talent show, you probably got amused by the kind of 'talents' most people had. Take Idols for example, you probably heard voices that could move you...to change the channel, but you rather laugh. What makes it more amazing was the level of seriousness these contestants portrayed as they sang off key or better yet on a "new key". I have friends who were music producers and I can assure you I have seen worse in their studios. What won't make you laugh freely in that situation was also the level of seriousness portrayed as they sang off key or better yet a "new key".
On these talent shows, you laugh at these individuals and most likely never remember their faces as they walked off the stage. In the studio you feel a rage of emotions, from frustration to sympathy for such singer. The singer pays for a session and all expenses, he/she was usually hyped and as they enter the vocal booth to voice the fun stops. A singer once took over an hour to take the first line of the song he penned and still it wasn't on key. He was better than a guy that got frustrated and stormed out of the studio screaming, "I am not singing again". Some don't care about how their singing was, like a guy that kept jumping off beat and key singing, "I am a celebrity, I am a celebrity, City People in the house, thank you, Photographers in the house, thank you, Shake your bum bum, bum bum..."
There are times it gets to me, when I see a guy cry because his voice wasn't coming out the way he thought from the speakers. Most times they cry not because of the money they had paid, but because they realised they had paid to realise they had no talent for their passion.
On the other side, there were individuals with wonderful voices and songs you would NEVER get to hear. The entertainment industry wasn't that welcoming. In America, you could use Youtube as a start to establish a fan base but in Nigeria, you had to PAY the radio djs and marketers to include your track on a bootleg compilation CD. And you had to do that till you got a break.
I feel I have to encourage everyone with a strong passion for music. In the right hands you would know where you fit. Just like football, not everyone can become a striker, you could play defence and that doesn't make you any less a footballer. Your passion might be actualised once you pick up a musical instrument if your singing voice wasn't on point. I just have to issue this warning, auto tune doesn't make you sound on key if you are not.
On these talent shows, you laugh at these individuals and most likely never remember their faces as they walked off the stage. In the studio you feel a rage of emotions, from frustration to sympathy for such singer. The singer pays for a session and all expenses, he/she was usually hyped and as they enter the vocal booth to voice the fun stops. A singer once took over an hour to take the first line of the song he penned and still it wasn't on key. He was better than a guy that got frustrated and stormed out of the studio screaming, "I am not singing again". Some don't care about how their singing was, like a guy that kept jumping off beat and key singing, "I am a celebrity, I am a celebrity, City People in the house, thank you, Photographers in the house, thank you, Shake your bum bum, bum bum..."
There are times it gets to me, when I see a guy cry because his voice wasn't coming out the way he thought from the speakers. Most times they cry not because of the money they had paid, but because they realised they had paid to realise they had no talent for their passion.
On the other side, there were individuals with wonderful voices and songs you would NEVER get to hear. The entertainment industry wasn't that welcoming. In America, you could use Youtube as a start to establish a fan base but in Nigeria, you had to PAY the radio djs and marketers to include your track on a bootleg compilation CD. And you had to do that till you got a break.
I feel I have to encourage everyone with a strong passion for music. In the right hands you would know where you fit. Just like football, not everyone can become a striker, you could play defence and that doesn't make you any less a footballer. Your passion might be actualised once you pick up a musical instrument if your singing voice wasn't on point. I just have to issue this warning, auto tune doesn't make you sound on key if you are not.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Am I A Misogynist?
I hate being labelled, probably because names/perceptions given to a person by others were more likely to stick than the name/description you give about yourself. If your friends perceive you as a liar that was more likely to stick that whatever your opinion on the issue was.
I remember a cartoon I watched when I was young, can't recall the name. There was a village where villagers' names coincidentally matched their occupation. They were not aware but when a stranger arrived he realised that. For example, a baby that was named Smith would be a blackSMITH. During the stranger's stay a robber was caught and the villagers chorused severe punishment. He interfered by asking the robber his name. I think it was Rob (I know it was related to stealing). He defended him and stated he only did what he was named to do. Anyway...that was what labelling could do (you could begin to act it) and I had been labelled a misogynist.
Urban Dictionary describes a misogynist as "a man that hates every bone in a woman's body, except his". Like most situations, the first response was denial. Truth was I've realised I was a quick attacker of a female's character and I have dissed females countless times. I even refer to them as "the other [specie]" so could it be I was one. I don't want to argue my case so I'll try and be objective in a subjective way. I got eleven misogynist jokes and if you find yourself laughing at most of them, then you might be one. By the way I had over 30 but the began to disgust me.
I have to warn some people might find it offensive especially the other [specie]. Enjoy!
1. What do you tell your girlfriend with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.
2. What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit her.
3. What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
4. Why are hangovers better than women?
Hangovers will go away.
5. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.
6. What are the three fastest means of communication?
a) Internet
b) Telephone
c) Tel-a-woman
7. What do a woman and a condom have in common?
They're both either in your wallet or on your d!ck.
8. How can you tell if you ve been fucking your girl too much?
Stick your thumb in her asshole and your middle finger up her snatch. If you can hear yourself snap your fingers, ease off a
little.
9. What's the best thing about a blow job?
Ten minutes silence.
10. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
11.Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her t!ts went.
I remember a cartoon I watched when I was young, can't recall the name. There was a village where villagers' names coincidentally matched their occupation. They were not aware but when a stranger arrived he realised that. For example, a baby that was named Smith would be a blackSMITH. During the stranger's stay a robber was caught and the villagers chorused severe punishment. He interfered by asking the robber his name. I think it was Rob (I know it was related to stealing). He defended him and stated he only did what he was named to do. Anyway...that was what labelling could do (you could begin to act it) and I had been labelled a misogynist.
Urban Dictionary describes a misogynist as "a man that hates every bone in a woman's body, except his". Like most situations, the first response was denial. Truth was I've realised I was a quick attacker of a female's character and I have dissed females countless times. I even refer to them as "the other [specie]" so could it be I was one. I don't want to argue my case so I'll try and be objective in a subjective way. I got eleven misogynist jokes and if you find yourself laughing at most of them, then you might be one. By the way I had over 30 but the began to disgust me.
I have to warn some people might find it offensive especially the other [specie]. Enjoy!
1. What do you tell your girlfriend with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.
2. What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit her.
3. What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
4. Why are hangovers better than women?
Hangovers will go away.
5. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.
6. What are the three fastest means of communication?
a) Internet
b) Telephone
c) Tel-a-woman
7. What do a woman and a condom have in common?
They're both either in your wallet or on your d!ck.
8. How can you tell if you ve been fucking your girl too much?
Stick your thumb in her asshole and your middle finger up her snatch. If you can hear yourself snap your fingers, ease off a
little.
9. What's the best thing about a blow job?
Ten minutes silence.
10. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
11.Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her t!ts went.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Why Complain When Haters Hate...
Why complain when haters hate, after all that was what haters were suppose to do.
I believe in world of opposites, good/bad, boy/girl, Celine Dion/ Rebecca Black...lovers/haters. The existence of opposites is a necessity for nature to arrive at an equilibrium, for us to cherish whatever position we were in and know when/how to improve. Just like haters; they see our potential and use it against us. To be honest there were haters who don't care if you had reached your potential, they just hate you for no reason. After all, that was what Haters were meant to do.
I was called "a lazy human being" one day. First thing I did was to introspect, to determine if I was indeed lazy. I decided to see myself in this person's eyes and concluded "Why bother, this is a hater." This was someone who got most things done through mummy and housemaids while I was the opposite. I graduated with a nice result while he had a withdrawal letter (twice). Yet he saw me as lazy.
Someone should have explained Haters to Soulja Boy who got dissed on his facebook wall by 'fans' for being talentless and he decided to retaliate. Even playing the racist card on the whites. Dissing haters only fuels the hate and your attention encourages them. But in all honesty Soulja Boy needed to step his game up. Someone described him as a "one shit wonder".
But Haters, wait till you see me on top, you would so talk your jaw would drop.
I believe in world of opposites, good/bad, boy/girl, Celine Dion/ Rebecca Black...lovers/haters. The existence of opposites is a necessity for nature to arrive at an equilibrium, for us to cherish whatever position we were in and know when/how to improve. Just like haters; they see our potential and use it against us. To be honest there were haters who don't care if you had reached your potential, they just hate you for no reason. After all, that was what Haters were meant to do.
I was called "a lazy human being" one day. First thing I did was to introspect, to determine if I was indeed lazy. I decided to see myself in this person's eyes and concluded "Why bother, this is a hater." This was someone who got most things done through mummy and housemaids while I was the opposite. I graduated with a nice result while he had a withdrawal letter (twice). Yet he saw me as lazy.
Someone should have explained Haters to Soulja Boy who got dissed on his facebook wall by 'fans' for being talentless and he decided to retaliate. Even playing the racist card on the whites. Dissing haters only fuels the hate and your attention encourages them. But in all honesty Soulja Boy needed to step his game up. Someone described him as a "one shit wonder".
But Haters, wait till you see me on top, you would so talk your jaw would drop.
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