@bankoletaiwo Last Tweet

Earlier in the week I read someone's post of Facebook, it was a RIP statement about a guy named Bankole Taiwo. Later that day on my Twitter timeline, someone else wrote a condolence message about the same guy. In the message, the guy's Twitter handle was typed in place of his name. Out of curiosity I clicked on it & realised the guy's last tweet was a retweet of an accident on the same road/day he died.

I'll try not to be insensitive [although you might perceive it as such] but two scenarios played in my head. Both of 'em started with @imagervet who was plying the Lagos-Ibadan expressway with her husband behind the wheels.

Her tweet...

"@Imagervet: The best part of the day,when dawn meets morn, cars scanty on the road,sleep just moving out of the way,arms around me....hmmmm....."

...was poetic & gives an idea of the setting along Lagos-Ibadan expressway. It was followed by:

"@Imagervet: Accident just occured on Lagos- Ibadan expressway....multiple dead bodies....just before RatCon....pls RT...missed it by minutes..."

She went a bit further to shout out for a retweet from @IBcity_Traffic:

"@Imagervet: Pls @IBcity_Traffic kindly help call ambulance services....accident just before RatCon leaving Ibadan,at least 6 dead...."

Now the first scenario...

@Imagervet's message got a RT, even from the deceased. Now I'm thinking, after the accident occurred was the deceased first response to tweet about the event? His tweet below...

"@bankoletaiwo: RT "@ayotheboss: RT @Gidi_Traffic: #REPORT [10:02AM] @Imagervet: ACCIDENT just occured on LAGOS- IBADAN EXPRESS. ... http://t.co/btm6Vzlm"

Now, since he died I'll assume he was probably in pain after the impact. @imagervet had also tweet:

"@Imagervet: Saw only 3 come out of bus,others appear badly injured...pls RT...some are lying on the road,hubby thinks tire mishap,lone bus...."

Either he was among the 3 or "some...lying on the road" he was in pain and pulled through to use his phone to tweet. Probably to call for help for himself or others. He noticed someone on his timeline had tweet about the accident so to save time he decided to RT. That is an explanation how the accident ended up as his last tweet.

The second scenario...

From @Imagervet tweet moments later...

"@Imagervet: A new appreciation of safe passage...saw about 4 fresh accidents this a.m.....too many factors at play....thankfulity....."

She witnessed "4 fresh accidents' that morning. It could be @bankoletaiwo's last tweet was about an accident before his. He was probably on his phone, reading his timeline and stumbled about an accident on Lagos-Ibadan expressway. That would have gotten his attention because he was in a vehicle plying that saw route. He decided to RT unknown to him what fate had ahead. Moments later, his vehicle was also involved in an accident and he died.

Now, I don't care if you feel I'm insensitive.
Remember the story of the Good Samaritan in the Bible, Jesus told it as a parable. It was about how men walked passed a man who was robbed and left wounded by the roadside. I see what happened as a modern version of the parable. @Imagervet & her husband drove pass "4 fresh accidents" and all she could do was tweet about it. On her blog,
http://randomthoughts-n.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/for-bankole-taiwo-et-al-2012.html?spref=tw&m=1,
she wrote about the incident & stated "There appeared to be several dead and 3men hobbled away from the scene..." and her reaction to it was "...I was ready to be recruited to assassinate those responsible for the state of that road".

I think we need to check our humanity. If good roads prevented accidents, America would not experience a high rate. Fact is it happens & lots of factors contribute to it. The blame game won't cut it. Like I said, we need to check our humanity. If God had put you in a situation to witness more than four accidents & you weren't involved in any, of what value is your testimony if you failed to assist one victim. We all know God is good all the time but how do we use the blessing?

I am moved by this because I've been in multiple situations where I had strangers rush me to the hospital. Such act of humanity helps a lot and a huge difference between life & death. Don't just tweet about it. Tweeting was the easiest way to pass along responsibility & there was over a 90% chance whoever reads it will do the same. For instance, see how a tweet originated from @imagervet > @IBcity_Traffic > @Gidi_Traffic > @ayotheboss > @bankoletaiwo < deceased on the same road.

Rest in Peace to those who lost their lives that day.

Eko 2012: 423 Gold, 422 Silver, and 579 Bronze

Nigeria had her 18th National Sports Festival, an event that most likly had more athletes (8000) than spectators (<8000). I was in University of Lagos a couple of times and witnessed the preparation. The hostels were converted to camp for the athletes and her sport centre hosted few games. I saw some muscular looking females, if I had those packs...hmmm! Anyway, the most interesting part was the final medals table.



423 athletes won Gold, 422 athletes went home with silver, while 579 athletes had bronze. How the f*ck was that even possible? In every competition there should be a first, second, and third place- an equal number of wins for each medal. This sh!t cray. I didn't want to be 'ignant' and did a little fact finding. I realised something similar happen in the olympics. The cumulative gold, silver, and bronze standing wasn't the same. Why? Not all sports had a gold, silver, or bronze winner. At times there was a tie, probably only 2 contestant completed the task, or none at all.



I'm still indoubt the number of games that Delta state could win 288 medals. I understand it was combined with paralympics and traditional sports were added, but what are those games.



The games is over, I'm sure with the millions spent someone became a millionnaire. I hope the guy that designed the mascot isn't one of 'em. That sh!t looks like Dr. Seuss 'Cat in the Hat' wearing a green suit after smoking SK.

My First ₦1 Show

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to my first ₦1 show. I appreciate you all for coming despite your very busy schedule to spend part of life your with me. As much as I appreciate it, I don't think I should thank you though. This show is effing ₦1, I mean, why won't you come. You should all be thanking me for bringing subsidy back to comedy and making you laugh for almost free. I mean, some of y'all didn't hesistate coming with your wife and concubines. Pretending to be rich and all. I bet if my show was ₦1 million I would be talking to myself in this hall. People won't want to pay ₦ 1 million to watch me, after all I'm not D'banj. I remember last December he had a show that had a price tag of ₦ 1 million for a table. That's ₦1,000,000 to sit in a furniture you won't take home. I had broke friends affiliated with rich friends who could pay and they attended. While they were probably having a good time I was asleep. The next morning one of 'em was looking at me desperate to tell me how it went. She didn't have to say it, just a look in her eyes said it all. After all, what was the use of attending such an event when there was no one you could brag to? Then I said, "People that didn't attend probably missed a great show but a pirated DVD of the event should make up for it. But those that got tables now miss ₦1 million. POW!". She looked at me one last time and walked away.

You know what, I didn't feel bad. That was life and that was the reason you had to pray for your friends to be as rich as you. That way you could share experiences. Have you ever had a friend you were richer than? I mean, mine started at an early age. I remember back in primary school I had 'em. I would have ₦1.50k in my pocket for lunch and this one kid would have nothing. It was as if his parents sent him to school to make money from peers. I probably was his bestfriend because in primary school your bestfriend had to be the guy buying you stuffs. Like most kids I was getting just enough as allowance but this kid wanted it shared between us. Now, there were times I would be interested in a lollipop and I knew if I got it this boy would give me the softest puppy eyes. Making me get him one. I don't think I was stingy but I wasn't his parent. Sometimes I would be effing hungry and would have loved to buy puff-puff in the canteen but this kid was with me. I would be all smiles inside while my stomach found nothing funny. I decided to begin to eat in secrecy. I would find time to runaway from him during break, get puff-puff, and hide behind the clinic to eat in peace. I put everything in my mouth and wipe my lips clean. He noticed I hadn't been eating and asked to know why, I told him mummy had been feeding me well for breakfast. The next day I did the same thing, during break we were on the swing and he wanted to pee. As he disappeared from my view I ran to the canteen got about 0.50k worth of puff-puff, then off to my usual spot to eat it. As I was about to put it all in my mouth I noticed someone was also there, I looked up and our eyes met. If was my friend and he also had a mouthful of puff-puff. It was a very very uncomfortable situation especually when he began to call me a liar. But you know, I had nothing to say because I was more confused.

But you had to pray for your friends, I grew up being in similar situations. My guys would say they were hungry and broke, and we walk to a buka. Everyone buys food worth ₦100 which could never be enough and I would be like, "give me the same" knowing that couldn't be enough for me. I could buy more but what kind of friend would I be. Everyone is feeding on a plate of rice with no meat while I would have assorted in my plate.

Despite all, I think I grew up well. Sometimes family members see me and say things like that. But you know what, I'm sure you've been in situations where you see a family member after a long while and they say something that sounds like a compliment but when you think about it, it was actually an insult. I've heard a family member say "you've grown so big into a man". Was she expecting me me to grow so big...into a woman, was she expecting me to have boobs and generate a pussy. Then they go ahead to ask the one question most people hate, "So where are you now?" I was literally standing before this person and he or she wants to know, "where am I now?" I understood the question though, it was to find out if I was in a position of social importance. I discovered the perfect answer to such question. Whenever you were asked such just reply, "We thank God".

"We thank God", shouldn't we? People ask if you've gotten a job you reply, "we thank God". They ask, "hope they are paying you well?", still reply "we thank God". There was this girl that gave me such answer. I discovered on Facebook she was with an airline. Her 'work' on Facebook was updated and her display picture had the name of the airline in the background. I was happy for her and told her, "Congratulations...hope they are paying you well?" She replied, "We thank God".

3 months later, this particular friend told me she was back in the unemployment market. "Months ago you were thanking God, what happened?". She replied that was training and was done with that. For the "real job", the airline posted her to their Yola station in Adamawa, with a monthly salary/stipend of ₦18,000 and no accommodation. In other words, she was to relocate from Lagos to Adamawa with a pay package of ₦18,000 per month. I asked, during your training how much were you paid and she replied, "Nothing, don't mind those stupid people". I reminded the babe I asked her about how much she was paid months ago and replied, "We thank God". You mean you were being paid nothing and you thanked God. Do you think that is God's portion for you to be paid nothing. I understand we should be greatful for whatever we have but don't be satisfied in a "job" that pays nothing. I'm not God but if I had the intention to assist someone and I ask, "How's your new job?" And she or he respond, "We thank God". I'll take it the person was in a good position and take my assistance away.

Anyway, the show must come to an end. The validity of your money must expire. See you next tima and God bless.

Been Down/ Blue October

Awake listening to Blue October, I had to share this lyrics [poem]


I dreamt you seduced me
Just walked away
I dreamt you inspired
Then rewired what I say
I dreamt you spread your bottom wings
And pulled me to the bed
But then I woke up feeling nauseous
You danced around my head


Chorus:
Tell me
How long, how long have I been down?
How long, how long have I been down?
How long, how long have I been down?
Down, Down


I dreamt you burned my fingers
Yes, an automatic sting
I dreamt you called me beautiful
Then asked to hear me sing
I dreamt your singing invited me
To crawl within your space
But then I woke up feeling nauseous
Girl, you danced around my face


Chorus:
Tell me
How long, how long have you been down?
How long, how long have you been down?
How long, how long have you been down?
Down, Down
Why can't we work when we both try?
We try, we try, we try, we try
Why can't this work, when we both try?
Why can't it work when we both try
we try, we try, we try, how we try
And how we try
I meant to sympathize I want to be your friend
I know apologizing won't erase the end
But I learn that moving on, is where I must begin
Because when our colours mixed
We couldn't fix the way they wouldn't blend


Chorus:
So tell me
How long, how long have we been down?
How long, how long have we been down?
How long, how long have we been down?
Down, down, yeah
And I wish that only greatness follow you around
I hope to God, you find a way to keep from down
When you do I hope you share it all with me
Please try to understand, yeah to understand me
Just try to understand me, yeah understand me
How long, how long have we been down yeah.
Down, down, down, yeah

November 2012: What? Why? How?

Last day before the last month. Yaaay! *sarcastic* Being alive should be enough to celebrate, I guess. Anyway, matters arising...


Obama won his re-election, Donald Trump lost his mind.

Now, for this month..

• What should fans expect from Rafa Benitez as the new Chelsea FC manager?

• How will I celebrate my birthday? [If I celebrate it]

• Why is Boko Haram still an issue?

Who [doesn't] Want To Be A Millionaire

We live in dangerous financial times. A period where you could work for 30 days in a month for a salary that would last only 2 days. So tell me, who doesn't want to become a millionaire? I usually hang out with friends and talk about how to make that wealth. One of those days, a friend received a text message from MTN. It was an invitation to be an audience member for WWTBAM, but he had no idea what that meant. I told him "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire". We were all excited, after all, 20 audience member get a chance to win ₦20,000 each. Whenever I watched the TV show the audience got asked very easy questions and I was certain my friend would win. The text invited him to the recording at the Lekki studio on Saturday, with was 3 days away.

We planned how to spend the money- OUR money, like I said, dangerous financial times. We talked about relaxation techniques and finger exercises all to prep him. The audience questions were always easy and winning depended on 20 fastest fingers to press the answer in the right sequence. Saturday morning, he left home very early to arrive at the studio few minutes past seven.

To his surprise, he wasn't among the first 20 people to arrive. There were people there that reserved seats for family members still at home. The taping didn't start till past 10. By then the waiting area was crowded and got confused if everyone got the text. Probably it another MTN error. He asked around to know how many people got the text but no one did. It felt like he was the only one who received the text and that made him comfortable. Probably he would be made a priority.

Frank Edoho, the presenter, drove in his Range Rover. Minutes later the taping was about to start. The organisers wanted everyone to paticipate and seperated the crowd into 3 groups. Three episodes would be recorded that day and each group would make up each episode. He made the first group.
The security were not concerned about who received a text or not. The security check was to spot familiar faces they kept coming only to win ₦20,000 audience play prize money. It's not surprising people actually come every week to win ₦20,000.

The guy that sat by his side was one of 'em that made it there every week. While the show was going on, he kept saying "make them do finish, make I win ₦20,000"...he was certain he would win.

That time finally came for audience play...the question was asked. The seat numbers of the 20 successful audience members were called. My guy no get am o. The seat number of the impatient guy by his side was called. That was his 3rd time of winning.

Although my friend didn't win a dime, we were all going to match to the next taping. At least, the more we were the highter the probabilty someone would win..

My Heart Goes Out to This 28-year-old Female Virgin

A friend has a girlfriend, she is 28 years old, and a virgin. I should be happy for him but considering my stand on virgins...all I see was a 28-year-old.

I was impressed because I had no idea he could date a virgin for months. That was months with dry balls. He had tried stuffs to turn her on...even used his head. She felt stuffs, sexual urge but exerted self-control. I also have to give credit to my guy, he had opportunities but didn't force his way.

He made a statement that suggested anticipation of their first sex on the wedding night. We had to laugh at that. But seriously, it was funny- because he wasn't getting 'any' the thought of marriage crossed his mind.

He mentioned the girl felt the same way. She had "preserved" herself for 28 years and might as well continue till her wedding night. She told him, "Isn't it sex? You'll have enough and I might even be begging you". If you had no idea what I disliked about virgins that was one of it, making sex an issue.

Fact is both of them were old enough to marry and start a family. It was possible BUT I had to share my perception of what might happen. Imagine they got married...

There was a high probability of no sex on the wedding night. Girls that lost their virginity before the age of 20 complained of painful first intercourse, imagine a 28 years old whose hymen had been intact longer. He had the right to try but if she was in pain...they could try the following day. No need to rush, they were married already.

She could eventually feel dissapointed during first intercourse and that sex was overrated. He might want to have sex & she goes, "let's talk. How was work today?" Because sex doesn't freak her & due to how she had lived her life could do with it probably once a week.

Once married the issues faced would be more financial/economical than sexual. He would want to provide for the family, probably stress from work would get to him. He gets home only for the wife to ration the sex. Tell me why he won't cheat?

OR, she could love it but due to lack of experience become boring. Any girl can make a guy cum but you can't make us think about you during sex. She might be the one to make constant sex a priority while he just wants to sleep.

This babe was currently 28 and ageing 29 next year. I don't see her married and saying, "Honey, let's take two years off to enjoy our newly found sexual life". I believe any girl married at 28+ would want to keep the babies coming ASAP. In less than a year he would be sharing her boobs/mammary gland with Junior and that just kills the sex life. The boobs becomes less attractive with minimal foreplay with 'em. Same with her pussy, once a baby pops out you think twice before diving in with your tongue. In short, with sex all you want to do was get in, get out, go to sleep.
Imagine getting bored sexually with a chic that had less than two years nacking experience.

With a conservative mindset, it should be a blessing getting married to a 28-year-old virgin. But 50, 100 years ago I doubt we had that many 28-year-old virgin.