Friday, December 17, 2010

Cock Teasers & Blue Balls (Prequel to 'The Player with the First Team shirt')

Cock teaser (n): A female that makes a male think he’s “gettin’ some” only for her to give him blue balls (Ade, 2010). Cock teasers are everywhere- schools, on the street, parties- you cannot avoid them and without permission you are attracted to them. They are mostly the girls you know you can’t get but for a split second, they make you see the possibility of you having them. Of course they wouldn’t be cock teasers if you don’t make an attempt, eventually you do and in the end… blue balls. Blue balls (also called epididymal hypertension) is a state where a guy is seriously aroused and has got a massive hard-on but he’s unable to release because the chic decided she’s not interested in going down on/with him. It feels like having a retrograde ejaculation, like the sperm the guy was about to release (due to excitement) was finding their way back into the testicles and it is usually painful. For those who haven’t experienced this (including females), imagine you want to pee badly but you can’t. The discomfort you experience with blue balls is worse. The sad part, when you’ve got blue balls and you decide to masturbate the relief you feel is not significant (I wonder how I knew). There is a strong relationship between cock teasers and blue balls, the first cause the later.


My first encounter with blue balls was at a party. You see the way girls dress nowadays, you hear the lyrics of the songs they dance to nowadays, and you’ve noticed the dance moves they have to these provocative songs while dressing the way they do. That’s a for sure blue balls outcome. For a split second I got a feeling that that night was gonna be a good night, so I threw caution into the wind. This girl was so hot she was smoking (then again I was also pursuing happiness so how would I have known she was really fine) and I was looking for a way to dance with her. The moment I got my chance the general stood at attention and I knew from that moment my own don be. My plan was now to dance with the chic until it was time for everyone to go home. When it was that time, it was her boyfriend that personally thanked me for making her have a wonderful time and walked with her outside. I just stood there, the general too. I guess every disappointment was a blessing cause I found the cure to blue balls that day (I hoped to find the cure to cock teasers as well). I was standing outside alone when a guy called my attention to assist him push his car to start which I did. As I applied force to make the vehicle move with the help of one other guy, I realised the pain I was experiencing below my abdomen region was reducing. Then it made sense, having an erection was all about blood flowing to the penis so it becomes erect, ejaculation involved contraction and that enabled the blood to freely flow out of the penis. When pushing an object like a car, you body experience similar contraction as if you were about to release. That also made it easier for the blood to flow out. When the car started I asked the guy to turn off the engine for us to push it the second time. I needed my blue balls to be totally gone but I told him “the engine gear accelerator might have false start. (Whatever that meant).”


One truth is not all blue balls were caused by cock teasers but they were the major cause (no doubt). I had this friend who had his girlfriend coming to town. It wasn’t just a visit, it was an appointment. She was a virgin (that’s always subject to speculation) and she told my guy she was ready to become a woman. One irony was that guys would use every Shakespearian line to convince a virgin to sleep with them and when she says yes they ask, “are you sure?” as if they cared. I just had to say that but my friend was different, he wasn’t that deceptive. He prepared for the match day, got cds and baby oil (which was very important). He was gettin’ some. The day she arrived he let his guards down, why should he care about having a careless erection when he knew what would happen in the end, it wasn’t cock teasing, that was flirting. When it came to issue of the day, my guy brought out his instrument most especially the baby oil. The girl on her own part must have been satisfied with his preparation. But as my guy barely penetrated that was a sharp scream then, “it’s paining me.” Lil’ Wayne said “I don’t play with fire expecting not to sweat” and in that situation both of them should have known that. For the next four hours that was the circle of event, it started with my guy giving a small speech preceding the entry but he was stopped by “it’s paining me”. My guy had to retire with his dick far from tiring. For hours it has stood at attention and what followed next were the worst blue balls a man should ever experience. The chic had no way of understanding what my guy was going through but knew he didn’t get what he hoped. She thought the pain in his eyes were those of disappointment but it was “a lingering sensation of heaviness, aching, and discomfort in the testicles due to the continued vasocongestion.”

6 comments:

  1. Lmao @ d last sentence..gud 1..its bidemi 4rm FB..

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  2. Bidemi thanks. I sure hope the sequel is as interesting.

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  3. Are you really trying to lend credence to blue balls Ade Berserk? lol! Maybe you should read this post and understand that most females think its the biggest scam ever. mscheew!

    Your blue balls went away cos the act of focusing on something else caused blood flow to be redirected towards arm and leg muscles - vaso decongestion :). Blue balls manifests physically but its all in the head. That's why cold water works too. The shock!

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  4. Heret's the link http://www.exschoolnerd.net/2011/06/blue-balls-face_9976.html

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    1. I read it & I made a comment. The article had little to nothing to do with blue balls...it was about guys getting aroused and saying/doing anything to get laid.
      It was written from a female's perspective so it's forgiven.

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